Fandom High School

Totally Unsafe Science With Beaker, Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Tue, 16 Aug 2022 13:47:50 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

Well, there was good news and bad news, class. The good news is that there wasn't a "make your own flamethrower" assignment today.

The bad news was this would probably not stop Beaker from catching on fire because today's theme was electricity! Oh boy.

Beaker stood at the front of the lab with his ~~school mandated watcher~~ temporary teaching assistant, Scott Lang. "Meep meep meep meep," he said, gesturing to Scott. "Meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep."

So that was certainly clear.

"Hey guys!" Scott said cheerfully, making some assumptions about those meeps. "So, like the little guy said, my name's Scott, and today, we're gonna be learning about electrical conductivity!"

Nothing to worry about here at all. Just ignore the alligator clips hooked up to the car battery that Scott had brought with him. (Though he was also, personally, sporting rubber gloves and a pair of goggles, because safety was very important. (And Scott, like, genuinely did not know just how futile those efforts were, but you know.)

"Meeeeeeeeeeep--" Beaker said admiringly as he stared at the car battery, then began to bring out a variety of small appliance to run off of it: blender, George Foreman Grill, Belgian waffle maker, electronic sledge hammer...

This could only go well!

"So, there's conductors," Scott offered, trying not to fumble as he watched the litany of devices being brought out. "And insulators. Conductors do exactly what it sounds like -- they take the electricity and heat along to another place. Insulators stop it, which is why I've got these fancy...."

He had started to wave a gloved hand at the class, but the electronic sledge hammer was kind of too much. "Dude, do you know how to use that?"

Also, importantly: was Muppet felt a conductor or an insulator? They were probably going to find out today, weren't they?

"Meep meep," Beaker said in what he hoped was a very reassuring way. (It wasn't.)

It wasn't at all, but maybe that was the language barrier? Scott was mostly going off of, like, intent here.

"Cool," he decided. "All right, then we're gonna hook up these clips to --" Well, ideally something boring, but Beaker had not really supplied boring options, had he? (This was why Scott maybe shouldn't actually teach; he would have brought electronic boards and lightbulbs and potatoes to hook up to the battery.) "Uh, I guess we can start with your sledgehammer."

What? Scott, no. At least the waffle iron, my guy.

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Very Unsafe Science With Beaker, Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 12:11:48 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

Well. Beaker's class was happening but the teacher wasn't at the front of the lab today.
He was...above the lab.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP--"

"So, well," Tony began, looking up at the ceiling where Beaker was stuck. "I was asked to come help with a lesson on gravity, but I'm starting to think some mistakes were made here."

Yeaaaaah.

"But! But, we can still get something done here," Tony assured the class. "I brought rocket boots for you all to test out, so might as well use them to rescue your wayward teacher, right?"

"Meep meep meep meep MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--" Beaker cried, ricocheting around the room. Rocket boots were harder than they looked!

"I'll make sure there are limiters on yours," Tony promised, wincing at each bounce.

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Extremely Unsafe Science With Beaker, Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Tue, 12 Jul 2022 14:36:25 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

When the students arrived in the Danger Shop, they would find Beaker behind lab table and a small, furry weasel in glasses, a suit, and a tie standing next to him.

Before Beaker could open his mouth, the weasel began to speak. "I'm Joe from Legal," he began, adjusting his glasses, "here to assure you that Mr. Beaker is not in breach of his teaching contract for getting so distracted by fireworks last week than he neglected to show up for class. ALLEGEDLY."

Using "allegedly" made him a real lawyer. Everyone knew that.

Beaker nodded emphatically, then pulled out an absolutely enormous number of fireworks from under the table.

"The school would like to remind you that in signing up for this class you have waived the right to sue for loss or gaining of limbs, minor or major smoke inhalation, and turning into animals, minerals or vegetables for any duration of time. You are also solely responsible for any mistakes you may make to the space-time continuum," Joe from Legal rattled off, shoving a bunch of papers towards Beaker. "Sign here."

Beaker put the fireworks down on the table--how was one of them lit already?--and signed.

"Hold onto your legal briefs, kids!" Joe said, throwing his head back and laughing uproariously at his own joke before racing out of the room just in time for the firework to explode against the Danger Shop ceiling.

"MEEP!" Beaker said, clapping excitedly. "Meep meep meep?"

Who else wanted to make things explode? All of you, right?

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Totally Safe Science With Beaker, Friday, June 10, 2022

Fri, 10 Jun 2022 13:58:04 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

Do you know what needed to be electrified? A sledgehammer!

Well, if you were Beaker, you thought it needed to be electrified. He stood proudly behind the machine--large, shiny, with too many buttons--and gave a long, meeping explanation about why the sledgehammer needed electricity to be a more effective tool. (Basic summary: because everything was better with electricity!)

He held up a huge nail that had been pounded once into a block of wood in order to stabilize it, and then crossed around the machine to push the button to turn it on.

Did you guess that the sledgehammer would do nothing to the nail but pound Beaker's head into his labcoat? You did? Congratulations, you've fully embraced Muppet Physics!

Now, um, watch out because the sledgehammer is on a huge extension cord and is now zooming around the floor of the lab searching for other things to whack.

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Completely Safe Science With Beaker!, Friday, June 3, 2022

Fri, 03 Jun 2022 14:57:46 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

"Meep meep meep meep meep!" Beaker said, gesturing grandly to the dishwashing soap, hydrogen peroxide, and yeast on his bench.

Did anyone recognize the components of elephant toothpaste?

Beaker, still meeping authoritatively, went through the steps for making elephant toothpaste as he mixed the soap with the hydrogen peroxide, then carefully (...well, for Beaker) added the yeast.

And a huge plume of foam engulfed him.

"MEEP!"

At least he didn't catch fire this time?

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Completely Safe Science With Beaker, Friday, May 27, 2022

Fri, 27 May 2022 13:43:17 GMT

Posted by: meepmeepmeep

Beaker, all of his hair in place again, stood behind the table that was set up with a trashcan full of paper. Next to it: a flamethrower.

Clearly this would only go well.

"Meep meep meep meep meep meep--" Beaker began, launching into a long and completely incompressible lecture about this amazing new fireproof paper he'd helped to invent.

"Meep!" he concluded triumphantly, reaching for the blowtorch and shooting it at the wastebasket.

The paper burst into flame.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

The fire suppression system would kick on soon enough.

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 22 Jun 2021 15:40:34 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

"Right." Miguel perched on the desk looking at them. "I'm really disappointed in you all, because I haven't heard any radio reports of hoverbikes or holoart or anything out there, so clearly I've failed you," he said dramatically.

"Not much chance on a final, given that. I give up." He stopped being dramatic and shrugged, then hopped down. "Clearly the only way I'm getting decent tech here is if I bring it in myself."

He tossed each of them a box. Inside was what looked like a game controller, albeit with fewer working parts. "Holographic gaming. I'll show you how to use them, then we play games for class, then you get to keep them." He eyed Beaker. "Try not to make it blow up."

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 21:53:39 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

Miguel was in his Spider-Man outfit today. "Today we're doing UMF!" he announced. "Unstable molecule fabric. It's great. Reforms to whatever's inside it," he extended his talons and the suit stretched around them, "and protects you from just about anything. Light enough to wear under other things, too. Let's see if we can replicate it. I've got the structure here," which he had gotten by hacking into another dimension's Reed Richards' computer, "so it shouldn't be too hard, right?"

It would never be that easy. But hey, science was about experimenting!

"If we get it right, you can all have your own outfits. I mean, if we get it wrong, you can still do that. As long as it's not too ugly and doesn't eat you, it's still a plus, right?"

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 12:53:56 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

"So this weekend I realized there's no cure for hangovers even in my time," Miguel said, "so we're going to research and find one. There's plenty of worlds out there, there's got to be something."

He programmed the Danger Shop to give them computers along with the usual lab. "Find something, then test it. Preferably on a lab construct, not yourself." Beaker "Let's see what we can find. Then heck, let's see if we can patent it."

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 14:53:07 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

Miguel hopped up on a table at one side of the lab. "I haven't heard any horror stories of anybody driving their hoverbikes through the town like speed demons, and I think you should know I'm disappointed with you all." He glanced around the room. "Okay, except for you, Beaker. I haven't heard of any hoverbikes exploding, so I'm proud of you."

He brought up a tablet and pressed a few buttons, calling up some new items in the lab. "This week, we're working on holoart." Hey, he knew his audience. "You've each got a control board; play with it and go to town." He hopped down to pick up a pencil-like extension. "This will draw or alter what's there." He tapped a section on the board. "This gets you your tools. Over here," he pushed a button on the other side, "are your previously loaded images. Thank my brother for them."

He stood back and waved them toward the consoles. "When you're done, we can save them to a card and you can take them home with you."

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Wed, 26 May 2021 00:00:04 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

"Right, we all know what we're doing today?" Miguel checked with them. "Testing the hover function, some careful riding in here to get used to them, and paint jobs."

He knew which of those were likely to appeal to some of you, and he was wondering where a fire or explosion would come in.

"Get to it, let me know if you need help."

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 18 May 2021 15:45:06 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

The Danger Shop was looking like a lab again today, and Miguel was chipper. "So, I hope you all had fun with your newly holographic phones! Did you get anybody jealous and asking for one? Remember, we want to get everybody hooked on more future tech. This week, we were going to do hovercars, but...well." He gestured to take in Fandom. "Not much point. So instead, hoverbikes!"

His gesture this time took in the motorcycles at the front of the room. "Might take two weeks, but we're going to shortcut a bit and modify existing bikes to hover instead of building from scratch. We'll also cover getting rid of the heavy and unnecessarily ecologically destructive fossil-fuel gas tank and replacing it with energy cells. And you'll
get to customize them however you want, too." He grinned at Astrid ~~if she was there~~. "I have appropriate paint."

He clapped his hands. "Let's get to it!"

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The Future History of Science, Tuesday 6th period

Tue, 11 May 2021 14:39:18 GMT

Posted by: what_the_shock

Miguel met his class in the Danger Shop, which was set up like a high-end 22nd-century lab. At each station were a crate full of parts and a set of blueprints.

"Hey." He waved to them as they settled. He was wearing a lab coat and looking a bit more nerdy than usual. "This is science class, so if you don't want to be here, last chance to bail."

After he'd given them a chance, he sat on the desk up front. "My name's Miguel. Pretty sure you all know me, but anyway, I'm from Earth about a century ahead of this one. I'm a geneticist and an engineer. That means I'm really missing a few bits of technology here, and I have the know-how to remedy that, with a bit of help. So, we'll be making some of that tech. The parts are real; we're only in here for the safety protocols," because he saw you, Beaker, "so you can take these things out onto the rest of the island and make people jealous and maybe want to upgrade themselves, and then we'll all be happy." Or something.

"I know we're supposed to do intros, but I already know you all, so just tell me if there's something specific you want to work on, and then we can get into making portable holograph emitters that run off phone batteries so we can have 3D phone displays. Sound good?"

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Fuck Yeah Science - Monday Period 2

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 18:33:53 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

"Today is our last fucking class. Thanks for showing up and doing the work," Barry said handing out a test blue book. "Your test question is 'how can we ensure that science can be used for the betterment of our respective worlds?' Hopefully you can think of a few ways based on some of our topics this semester."

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Fudge Yeah Science! - Monday Second Period

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 14:43:19 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Notifications via email, text etc. for anyone having kids and having no idea what to do with them Monday morning to come to Barry's class for fun and educational experiences.

Arriving there, parents and children would find multiple work areas ranging from liter pop bottles to paper mache.

Standing in the front of the classroom would be Barry along with a small child wearing a pink lab coat and classes standing next beside him.

"Today? We're making some model volcanos," Barry said gesturing to the tables.

"But not real volcanos because my dad in this dimension is a total wimp," Holly snarked and completed it with an epic eyeroll worthy of her mother.

"We are not having a live volcano in the classroom," Barry said firmly.

"Ugh. Bor-ing."

Barry gave the people coming in a tightlipped smile. "Let's get to it shall we?"

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Fuck Yeah Science - Monday Period 2

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 18:41:49 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

"Movie day!" Barry said as soon as he entered the room looking rather agitated. "Movie day."

He brought down a screen and hooked up the projector to show the first science related movie he could find.

"There. Mother fucking dinosaurs. Watch the movie and write and essay. Or something."

And then Barry went back to working on a strange looking air filter.

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Fuck Yeah Science - Monday Period 2

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 17:43:28 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

As the class filed into the Danger Shop, they would find that the entire area had been turned into some weird kind of boxing ring/arena.

"So. Last week we built some motherfucking robots," Barry said with and smirk and gestured to the fighting area. "So this week? We're going to have them beat the ever-living shit out of them. Load em' up and have them smack each other around."

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Fuck Yeah Science!

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 17:16:50 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Anyone coming into the Danger Shop today would see that it was outfitted with lots of metal work equipment and electronic gears. Additionally there were wheels, hydraulic systems and much much more.

"Today? We're building some mother fucking robots," Barry said waving his arm toward the mess of systems and parts in front of them. "And we'll use some basic arduino cards and OS to control them. And under no fucking circumstances are we going to create a robot with an AI. That shit leads to some serious consequences. Both morally and from a robot apocalypse perspective."

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Fuck Yeah Science! - Monday - Period 2

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 19:08:00 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

"So. This weekend was fucking weird," Barry said as everyone came into class. "Which really is just a normal fucking thing for this island but I didn't fucking like it. I don't think my serotonin levels have been so fucking low in a long time. So... today we're going to talk about Tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid used to produce nitrogen balance however it also produces niacin which is essential in creating the neurotransmitter.... yeah. You fucking guessed it: serotonin."

Barry waved his hand to a table which contained milk, ice cream, cheese canned tuna, slices of turkey and chicken and most important of all chocolate.

"All of these foods help with the production of serotonin. Grab whatever the fuck you want and go home and take a break from this fucking place."

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Fuck Yeah Science! Monday Period 2

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 16:19:13 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Coming into the classroom today there was another portal and sets of fishing waders for everyone to wear. And a portal...

Which would lead everyone into the hot humid swamp environment. Hopefully everyone wore their waders.

Near the portal were two tables. One contained several vials and the other had a stack of books.

"One of the rites of passage in a science class is to dissect a frog. Which I think is bullshit and a waste of a frog," Barry said gesturing to the vials. "And also? Frogs are boring. So in order to get an idea of what it's like to have green skin and crawl around in a swamp? You can drink the vial over her and turn yourself into an alligator for an hour. After an hour? You turn back to normal. You'll still have your same brain and such so you can at least get an idea of what it is like and remember it."

He then gestured at the other table. "If you're not up for transforming, feel free to write an essay."

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Fuck Yeah, Science! Monday Period 2

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 14:55:20 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

There was nothing fancy in the class room today. Just a movie screen and a projector.

"I'm assuming you're not all ready to jump into weird science and bizarre experiments after your trip," Barry said with a small grin. "So, yep. It's a fucking movie day. Hopefully you guys don't mind problematic 80's movies starring Val Kilmer."

Yes. It was a Val Kilmer movie. But it did lightly touch on the misuse of science for military use. So... there was at least some kind of message?

Doesn't matter. There's popcorn with lots of butter too. Enjoy it kids.

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Fuck Yeah! Science! - Monday Period 2

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 13:41:57 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Today the class portal brought the students to a simple field. In the distance appeared to be a giant diet coke bottle the size of building. Hanging above it was a giant tube appearing to contain very small white tablets connected to a crane.

"So. You've probably seen the fucking youtube videos," Barry said as he made adjustments from his remote. "I thought we'd try to see what happens on a larger scale and explain what happening. You see a carbonated beverage is packed full of dissolved carbon dioxide gas, which forms bonds with water. While the soda is in the bottle, the gas is kept in solution by the bottle's pressurized conditions. When you pour some soda into a glass, some gas escapes and forms foam, but most stays trapped by the surface tension of the water. To create bubbles, the carbon dioxide needs to interact with itself, which means that the carbon dioxide's bonds with water in the Diet Coke must be broken. A Mentos candy can help with this. Although the candy may look smooth, if you looked at it under a microscope you'd see tiny bumps coating its entire surface. This rough surface allows the bonds between the carbon dioxide gas and the water to more easily break, helping to create carbon dioxide bubbles and cause the classic eruption."

He smiled, pulled out an umbrella and opened it. "So. Enough with the lecture bullshit. I hope you brought an umbrella."

And then he pressed the button.

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Fuck Yeah Science - Monday - Period 2

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 16:15:56 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Coming into class today, there would be the typical portal set up in the corner of the room.

"We're going to be taking a very up close look at the insect world today," Barry said, waving for everyone to follow him through the portal. "So grab your fucking gear and get ready. Also we're going someplace warm so you can ditch the winter gear if you need to."

Walking through the portal, the students would find a lovely meadow with the sun shining and a nice warm breeze blowing the grasses this way and that. Next to the portal were two tables. One with a bunch of beakers filled with purple fluid and the other filled with books.

"The beakers there are for you. Drinking it will shrink you down to about a centimeter tall," Barry explained. "And from there you'll be able to get an up close look at some of the insects around you. I'll be with you to zap anything that tries to eat you but for safety's sake try not to look appetizing. And if shrinking down scares the shit of you, you can just write an essay instead. So... who's with me?"

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Fuck Yeah! Science! - Monday Period 2

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 18:26:49 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

Today everyone met in the Danger Shop and the room had been set up in a strange fashion.

On the far end of the room were small wooden and stone structures which were apparently inhabited by loud green pigs.

On the nearby side of the room there was a sling shot stuck in the ground and a bunch of brightly colored birds all around the students.

"Today we are going to do practical experiments on initial velocity, launch angles and air resistances on an object."

...

"By launching a bunch of willing birds through a sling shot and hitting a bunch of pigs."

Look. He spent the weekend moving stuff all over a galaxy. Just be glad he showed up for a lesson.

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Fuck Yeah Science - Monday - Period 2

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 16:07:25 GMT

Posted by: badassprodigy

"So. Everyone have fun this weekend?"

Barry's expression was one of contained amusement. "Not going to lie. As soon as I realized that this bullshit was happening I locked the drawers and sent out drones to watch everyone make themselves look like idiots. Next time you're normal when this happens, swing by my warehouse. I'll have Oreos."

He waved his hand in the direction of a portal that was sitting in the classroom and gestured for everyone to follow.

When they stepped through the portal they would see that the had stepped onto a metal platform with an energy field dome above them.

And all around them were stars and apparently the planet Saturn.

"Yep. We're in fucking space. There are some human sized hamster balls over there that you can take out and run around in space. When the hour is over come back here and write down your observations."

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