Fandom High School

2 Problem 2 Creative, Monday, August 18, 2025

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 15:48:14 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Today class was in the Danger Shop. What dire task was going to be set before them for their final? Whatever it was, it was behind curtains because your teachers loved themselves a dramatic reveal. "Welcome to our final time together, though I also encourage everyone to take our upcoming class in the Fall, which will include fewer gifts for the teachers."

But probably not zero gifts for the teachers, now that Anakin had learned he could get people to bring him gifts.

Speaking of, it was time to present your latest and last offerings.

Once they had been judged, Ahsoka led each student in turn to a plinth near the curtains. "We will be judging the skill and speed of your roasting skills today," she informed them. "After each figure behind the curtain is revealed, you must roast them as quickly and relevantly as possible. Fastest roaster wins, best roaster gets bonus points."

"For clarification," Anakin said with a little smile at Henry, "we mean you should say mean but funny things about the figures, not cook them."

Did Ahsoka seem especially amused right now? Maybe.

comments

2 Problem 2 Creative, Monday, August 11, 2025

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 14:21:36 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Anakin had not been a cat again. He'd never been a cat. It was an island-wide hallucination. At least that's what his expression said as he stood fully human in front of the class.

Never mind that Ahsoka still had several Anakitty plushies scattered about the big gold chairs.

Anakin was especially ignoring those. "Today we will immediately begin with our task," he said.

"Which means you'll have another week to complete your homework of taking a holo of your plushie from last week in the most interesting place you can find on the island." Ahsoka added immediately. The homework that, needless to say, Ahsoka had definitely not given them last week.

The muscles in Anakin's jaw clenched. "Wonderful," he gritted out.

"I thought so," Ahsoka replied cheerfully. "Anyway, today's task is to do things to fruit."

Anakin had been married to Rory long enough that he had to swallow back his immediate "not dirty" follow-up comment. "You're using them to solve tasks. The fastest to solve them wins."

"You'll have five tasks and five different fruit," Ahsoka explained. "Once you've used a fruit for one task, you cannot use it for another. Your time starts when you read the first task."

comments

2 Problem, 2 Creative [Mon, Period 2]

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 13:44:08 GMT

Posted by: snipsnspecks

Anakin was a cat, again, and Ahsoka was looking far too pleased with herself, again, as she had the class meet in the park, which was seemingly clear of anything too out of the ordinary...for Fandom at least. There was the shed of random shenanigans tools.

"I believe that Anakin set this week's homework as the most shiny thing," she said. "In this case we'll judge shiniest as whatever catches Master Skywalker's interest the most."

After Anakitty had made a through inspection of the various offerings, and anyone who'd been so inclined had captured sufficient blackmail material on their phones. Ahsoka continued.

"Today's task is to rescue a cat from a tree," Ahsoka said, unrolling a "missing cat" siign with a photo of a toy cat that looked nigh identical to Anakitty. "Points will be given for speed of rescue and bonus points for the likelihood of the cat surviving the rescue."

comments

2 Problem 2 Creative, Monday, July 28, 2025

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 15:43:47 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Why did the classroom look like a cheap Italian restaurant? Why was there a miniature giraffe in a scarf in the corner? Excellent questions, both! Your teachers would explain it later.

"Hello, everyone," Anakin said.

"Today s all about hidden layers." It was not, but Ahsoka had learned to spin a line of bantha poodoo with the best of them. "So we may as well judge your homework first off."

Anakin nodded. "Yes, show us your costumes."

The costumes that you had remembered to wear, right?

Of course they had! They were conscientious students! Probably.

"And now onto the second part," Anakin said. "You are going to create chemistry on a first date."

Which...sort of explained the restaurant set up.

Feel free to start having a bad feeling about this. "Working in teams, you will relay instructions to your single on what to say and how to act. We will be judging which team had the best first date."

Feel free to start having a really bad feeling about this.

"Earl the miniature giraffe is looking for love," Anakin said like that was a normal thing to say. "His date, Tiny, will be here soon."

comments

2 Problem 2 Creative, Monday, July 21, 2025

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 15:49:45 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

When the students came in, they were greeted by table and chair with a pizza box (sadly empty), and a strange object sitting on it.

"Good morning, everyone," Anakin said. "I am still not a cat!"

Congratulations, Anakin.

"There are also far fewer cats involved in this week's class," Ahsoka remarked, almost regretfully.

Anakin looked smug. "Yes, there are." Unless someone brought in a cat as a satisfying thing to touch.

Let's be real, there was a non-zero chance someone had. Speaking off, it was time to touch all the things that had been brought in.

"Homework first and then we will explain the pizza box," Anakin said. Well. Sort of explain it.

If you ever felt you knew less by the time these classes ended than when they started, it was possibly entirely by design.

Once all the things had been touched and judged. Ahsoka continued "Your task today is to order a pizza."

"Yes," Anakin said, eyes twinkling. "Using that phone, order an extra large vegetarian pizza with pepperoni and bacon, and without tomato and cheese. You may not use the following words: extra; large; vegetarian; pizza; pepperoni; bacon; tomato; or cheese."

"You will also receive a bonus point if you can get the person taking your call to say ''bubbles," Ahsoka added.

comments

2 Problem 2 Creative [Monday, 2nd period]

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 14:00:39 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Good news, class! Anakin was not a cat today!

Bad news, class! You now have to present him with amazing cat toys anyway!

However your cat toys were being judged by Ahsoka, so you weren't all going to come equal last (however much Anakin wished you would).

"Welcome back," Anakin said, not looking thrilled to be there. "Please show Ahsoka your homework."

"I'm sure you all picked worthy offerings," Ahsoka said, looking for too pleased with herself.

Anakin shot her a baleful look, which was still a strangely cat-like expression.

Good thing Ahsoka had practice ignoring that look!

A decade of it, even!

"And then we'll get to your real task."

Also cat-themed! Completely coincidentally, no doubt.

Utterly coincidental. That was Ahsoka's story and she was sticking to it.

Once she'd finished judging the cat toys, she led that class outside one by one to where a large number of small red bags were laid out in a pattern. One that if they happened to get to a high enough viewpoint looked a lot like this.

"You need to let the cat out of the bag," she told them. "Fewest attempts wins."

"Hilarious," Anakin said dryly.

comments

2 Problem, 2 Creative [Mon, Period 2]

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 12:54:54 GMT

Posted by: snipsnspecks

As had been the case last session, there were two elaborate gold coloured chairs at the front of the classroom. Unlike last session, there was a very grumpy looking cat in the larger chair.

"Welcome to class," a decidedly non feline Ahsoka greeted them. "Master Skywalker is indisposed right now, but we won't let that get in the way of our first class.

"Now, those you who were in our previous class were given some homework to do over the break, Namely to find the saddest thing to do in a midlife crisis. for the sake of those who are new this session," And for everyone who just hadn't done it. "You'll have ten minutes to come up with something before presenting your homework with the rest of the class."

After everyone had ~~made up~~ presented their homework, Ahsoka continued. "The first class in usually for introductions, so what better way to introduce yourselves than by coming up with a mantra to live life by, the most original mantra wins."

comments

Creative Problem Solving [Monday, Period Two]

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 11:34:37 GMT

Posted by: snipsnspecks

There was a stage and microphone set up in the classroom today. It was probably nothing to worry about.

Of course not! These teachers were known for how normal and boring their classes were.

"Before we get to that," Anakin said, "you need to show us what you've brought from other people's houses today."

Once Anakin had judged their taste and possibly their life choices, Ahsoka continued. "Your task today is to improvise a love song to Anakin," she said, somehow with a straight face. "We will provide a backing track and there will be a bonus for the best lyrics."

Anakin blinked. "Wait. What?"

"That's what the task says," Ahsoka replied, passing him the clipboard.

"I don't remember this task," Anakin said.

"Have you been bitten by a gremlin recently?"

"No," Anakin said, frowning.

Ahsoka shrugged. "You must have just forgotten, then."

Anakin looked less convinced. "Maybe." He shrugged. "Maybe they'll be good at this."

Maybe.

comments

Creative Problem Solving, June 16, 2025 [Second period]

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 14:39:49 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Your teachers looked much less horrifically hungover this morning, so good job to Anakin and Ahsoka. "Good morning, everyone," Anakin began. "I trust your weekends were filled with brooding about your fathers or father-figures."

He'd been in Fandom a long time.

"Hopefully your homework helped distract from that," Ahsoka said with a dryness that made it clear she had not expected it to.

"Whoops," Anakin said, not looking or sounding sorry.

After Anakin had learnt his lesson from the quality of the things he was given for their homework (let's be real, he never would), Ahsoka continued, "Today's task will be helpful for those of you interested in a future in politics. Because it's going to be slightly less frustrating."

Anakin nodded. "Get all of the banana into the bottle," he said, pointing to the eight tables and the objects on them: a green wine bottle with a stopper attached with a combination lock, and a banana. "You cannot break the bottle. The bottle cannot leave the table. The fastest person to get all of the banana into the bottle wins."

The banana, they didn't mention, was frozen, and the bottle was filled with Jello. Good thing there was a closet filled with moddable objects on the other side of the classroom, right?

"Your time starts now."

comments

Creative Problem Solving, June 2, 2025 [2nd period]

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 13:26:01 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Anakin and Ahsoka were standing in front of a roofless L-shaped building made of concrete. It had two low doorways on either end of the structure.

"Before we explain what we're standing in front of," Anakin began, "we want to see the art you obviously spent all week creating for us."

"I'm sure you've all done your best." For someone who looked serene, Ahsoka had a definite vibe of glee about her today.

"Even if your best is very bad," Anakin said, nodding. "Let's see what you've brought."

Once Anakin had very judgily judged everyone's art, Ahsoka extended her hand towards the nearest entrance to the, let's be real, it was a bunker. "If you would be so kind as to enter this structure here to receive your task."

Anakin read aloud: "Avoid getting wet by Ahsoka. You must remain inside the bunker. Ahsoka is outside the bunker and can't step inside. Longest to avoid getting wet wins. You have twenty minutes. Your time starts after Ahsoka gives an example of what she is capable of."

Ahsoka sent a water balloon arcing gracefully through the air and over the wall. Directly towards Cal. Sorry, Cal.

"Sorry, Cal," Anakin said with nothing like sincerity. "The rest of you should probably move."

More water balloons started to come over the wall as Ahsoka started jogging around the outside of the bunker.

comments

Creative Problem Solving, May 26, 2025 [2nd period]

Mon, 26 May 2025 13:28:52 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

The classroom smelled delicious today. This possibly had something to do the large table set off to one side with a drop sheet covering a large stack of...something.

"Good morning," Anakin said with a slightly evil smile. "Welcome back to class. I am already looking forward to your egg photos."

No, you couldn't hear the Imperial March playing softly, that would be silly.

Once judgement had been passed on the photos and all the rules lawyering had wound up, Ahsoka pulled the drop cloth off the table with the Force, revealing several dozen pizza boxes.

More worrisomely, the pizza boxes had oven mitts with chopsticks attached to them stacked neatly next to them. There were enough chairs for everyone to sit and...deal with whatever problem this was.

Ahsoka cleared her throat and started reading off her clipboard. "Your task is to de-pineapple the pizzas while wearing your chopstick gloves, placing the pineapple in the bowls. At the end of the task your pineapple will be juiced and most juice wins. You may politely ask for a new pizza. In Italian." You all knew Italian, right? "You have three minutes from when I blow my whistle."

comments

Creative Problem Solving, May 12, 2025 [2nd period]

Mon, 12 May 2025 12:41:11 GMT

Posted by: sith_happened

Anakin and Ahsoka were standing in front of eight tables, each of which held a bunch of bananas, a cutting board, and--worryingly--duct tape, masking tape, a stapler and a glue stick. "Welcome to Creative Problem Solving," Anakin said.

"There's a saying that when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail," Ahsoka added. "Our plan is to teach you creative ways to use that hammer."

"And to think on your feet using what you have available," Anakin said like having these particular items would be a normal situation for some of them.

"Just remember there are no wrong answers in this class," Ahsoka said. "But we will be judging on how creatively you interpret our instructions while still staying within them."

"We'll do introductions as you explain your creations," Anakin said. "Make the biggest and best banana using only the supplies you have in front of you. You have 120 seconds, after which Ahsoka and I will judge you." The creations, right, Anakin? Not the participants?

The creations, right?

"And after we're done judging, we'll give you homework," Anakin said. Because summer homework was the best!

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 14:13:53 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The usual tavern was cleared out to show a sort of wrestling platform. Only it was 8 sided. Because Magnus.

"NERF FIGHT!" Magnus shouted, raising a foam bat in lieu of, you know, a greeting.

"Six of you will enter, and, well, six of you will leave." Because they weren't actually going to make their students murder each other . "But only one will leave victorious."

Magnus beamed and smacked Cara in the arm with the bat. Half because he was nuts and half because she was his friiiieeeend.

And the power of friendship was pretty much the only reason why that earned Magnus an eyeroll instead of a more murderous response. "You have two minutes to gear up and get in the ring."

"May the odds be ever in your favor," Magnus added like a giant nerd.

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 28 Mar 2019 13:50:52 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

Class was in the Danger Shop, because where else would it be.

"Technology professionals worldwide logo the informations," Cara said looking visibly annoyed, apparently the Danger Shop (or the island) was a bit glitchy today. "Punching bag of the day before the end of the mutiny."

"Sorry, things are a little... wonky?" Magnus said, looking deeply concerned. "For some reason we're 😕😡."

Okay, so now he was talking in emoji. That was cool.

Totally cool, you could tell by the way Cara's expression resembled the second emoji. "Picture information the face punching machine. Machine wash the car is still available for remote punch list items."

You got that she wanted you to punch things, right?

"🤳💔🗣," Magnus added. Because reasons beyond his understanding. Pretty sure it was a curse. He sighed and hit a button to release the glitchy robots for that class to punch.

Couldn't even muster up the enthusiasm for robotic arm ripping.

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 12:40:00 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

There had been a ~~handwavey~~ note to the class, telling them to meet the super excited (well, one was on the inside) teachers at the movie theater in town.

"Movie day! Only a real movie. In a theater. Not that there's anything wrong with streaming," Magnus said. "But what's more fun than a dark, crowded room full of strangers?"

Just ignore Cara smirking, kids, it was probably just a trick of the light. "This film helps demonstrate our point that there is no problem that can't be solved by carefully applied punching."

"And saying no to the bad guys," Magnus added. "We got popcorn and soda for you all, so you can enjoy the movie without getting hangry."

"There's already plenty of fury in the movie." Cara thought she was hilarious.

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 13:24:44 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The movie projector was out, because your teachers were still recovering from break.

"So sometimes in order to solve your problems, you have to travel to the people who need punching," Cara said. "And that's a lot of effort." Trust her on that.

"It's an adventure," Magnus emphasized. "But most of us aren't puppets, so it's not as difficult. Or more difficult? Do puppets have fatigue?"

"Whichever makes them creepier." Puppets were extremely creepy.

Sorry, Beaker.

"Do they count as marionettes? Because I speak marionette, you know." Magnus, thar was possibly the most nonsensical thing to add.

"I think those need strings." To strangle you with, probably.

"Well, poop." Magnus sighed, popping in the VHS, poor quality copy of the selected movie.

Enjoy your creepy puppets, kids!

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 31 Jan 2019 14:14:05 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The tavern was more dimly lit than usual and there were candles on the tables. Different candles. Expensive candles. Be afraid?

"So, Valentine's Day is around the corner. Which is, apparently, also something we celebrate back home," Magnus said. "So, we're gonna help you woo that lady, guy, or non-gendered individual of your dreams."

"With punching." Cara, no.

"Only after both of you are on the same page about that," Magnus added. "Because otherwise you're just a jerk."

"Well, obviously," Cara agreed. "But it works better for some people than all those flowery words." Like her. Never mind it'd taken an entire alternate universe for her to make a move.

"And they say, the couple that gets into barfights together, stays together," Magnus said cheerfully. "So, partner up to practice."

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 17 Jan 2019 11:34:04 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The class was again in a tavern. It was possible that they got the program stuck and were just gonna go with it rather than be bothered. But there was a little dry erase board with 'Avoiding dumb people with opinions' written on it. Which, honestly, could take place in a bar.

"Sometimes people are just dumb and mean and should probably just not talk in public," Magnus said. "Like anyone who gets mad about razors. Unless those razors killed their parents or tried to shave off their beloved sideburns or something."

That was a very specific scenario. "Sometimes these opinions go beyond annoying and wrong, like anything Tino ever says about anything, and actually hurt people." Every Mord'Sith learnt that sticks and stones might break bones, but words were what broke people.

"So, you know. Jerks. Mean, mean jerks," Magnus said. Because cussing was for goofs, not for calling someone an asshole. They didn't even deserve that much consideration. "So, we're gonna go with the right way to deal with these people!"

Spoiler: It was with punching. Because that was the solution to everything with these two.

"There are people in this tavern with extremely wrong opinions who must be stopped from sharing them." With punching.

"We got most of them from Twitter," Magnus added cheerfully.

So they'd know they were all stupid. "Why does that website even exist?" Her life was so much better before she knew the internet existed.

Magnus gave her a sad pat on the arm. "The internet was a mistake."

Clearly they should punch the internet next.

comments

Problem Solving and You!, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 13:18:24 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The danger shop was set up to look like ye older tavern that your teachers might look more at home in, with a good number of NPC patrons milling about.

"Hail and well met, students!" Magnus said, picking up one of the chairs. Maybe to inspect the make of it.

Cara also picked up a chair, definitely not to examine the fine carpentry. "Normally this is where there'd be introductions." Because she'd been here for far too many first weeks by now. "But that's kind of boring."

Most people didn't react to boredom by flinging a chair into a packed crowd of very surly looking NPCs (including NPCakin, oh how we'd missed you and your terrible hair), Cara.

"Bar fight!" Magnus cheered, immediately changing his grip on the chair to use as a weapon. With bonuses because carpenter/fighter.

Aw yeah.

Cara might have pointed out that none of the class should've been surprised by this. Not even the newbies, the class description had not been subtle. But she'd flung herself after her chair by now.

Have fun kids.

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Tue, 21 Apr 2015 00:24:00 GMT

Posted by: whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com

[Class the Last: The Final Job]

Welcome to the S.S. Ridiculous! A steampunk-inspired airship, hanging out over… well, hard to say, but that city down below looks fairly dystopic.

“Final time!” Parker sang out. She grinned and pointed at the deck, full of barrels, red crystals reflecting light beams, a very high rigging, and some loose ropes. “Time to escape!”

Eliot . . . looked resigned. "This is all Parker's idea. Just be glad there's no crocodiles."

A group of odd, clunking robots came marching out of one of the doors.

"Okay, those mighta been my idea," Eliot admitted with a faint smirk.

“I like them.” Parker nodded approvingly. “So yes, get off the ship, and there’s cake! … varieties of cake.”

Welcome to your Final. Think of it as practice for the Graduation ceremony.

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Mon, 13 Apr 2015 22:26:00 GMT

Posted by: whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com

"We're wiped out. We were dealing with children smaller than you all week." Parker was wearing pajamas with flying pigs. Appropriately.

Eliot: was not wearing pajamas. Just some very comfy clothes. ". . . weekend. It just seemed like a week."

"That. Right." So they hadn't remembered they'd had a class to teach until very, very recently.

"So I'm sure some of you have had someone tell you that they hope someday you have a kid just like you so you know what it feels like. And some of you probably found out what that feels like this weekend." Eliot was looking a little haggard around the edges. "So today. . . . Nap. Draw quietly. Play with legos. Do yoga. Whatever you do to relax and recover."

Parker got an obstinate expression. "There's cartoons. I'm watching cartoons." She added, "If you want more of a class, create it and solve the problem yourself."

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Tue, 07 Apr 2015 01:27:00 GMT

Posted by: vdistinctive

The Danger Shop was set up like a little carnival today, complete with lots of big spinny rides and buildings full of mirrors and twisty hallways and disconcerting smells. Eliot and Parker waited for the kids by the entrance. Eliot was eyeing one of the rides suspiciously, but looked away as the students started to enter. He held a large brindle labrador puppy on a leash. The puppy bounced excitedly around his legs, tail going so fast it was practically a propeller.

"Welcome back," he said. "Hope everyone had a good weekend, whether you went camping or not."

“It’s a carnival day! You don’t have to fight anything,” Parker told them. “Unless you really want to punch a clown. I can understand that.” She bent down to pet Val. “Instead, we’ve got a find-a-treasure-hunt.”

Val yipped and play-bowed, staring up at Parker excitedly. She was a puppy. Her default mode was excited.

"The treasure, in this case, bein' this here girl," Eliot said, leaning down to unhook Val from her leash. "She gets a head start." Val froze when the leash was disengaged, looking up at Eliot. He nodded to her and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Val, git."

She dashed off with another yip and disappeared around a corner by the shooting gallery.

Parker grinned. “You have to find the puppy and bring her back to us. She’s a sweetie, so you won’t have to hurt her, just maybe… herd her.” She paused and added, “Don’t feed her anything with chocolate.”

Oh god, how did Parker talk him into this? Simulated cotton candy wouldn't give his dog a stomach ache, would it?

"She ain't real good at coming when you call yet," Eliot said, not letting his anxiety show on his face. "And she loves playin' hide and seek." He rolled his shoulders and gave the ride he'd been eyeing another look. "Careful around the rides. I mean -- I know there's safeties and all, but --"

Look, you got hit in the face with one of those things once and you got leery.

“Megabyte loves everybody. So have fun, guys!”

"That ain't her --" Eliot cut himself off with a groan. "Just -- go look for her."

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Tue, 31 Mar 2015 00:57:00 GMT

Posted by: vdistinctive

Class today met in a completely padded room. Not, like, a mental ward padded room, just a big gymnasium type room with mats glued to the walls and floors (and ceiling). Scattered all over were pillows of varying sizes, from little goofy throw pillows to giant feather mattresses. They came in all sorts of shapes as well as sizes, from simple squares to fluffy hippos.

Eliot stood in the midst of the whole thing with a bear shaped pillow in a casual choke hold. "I, uh. Wanted to apologize for not bein' in class, last week," he said. "And -- bein' kind of an ass before that."

Parker was standing next to him, hugging one of those purple hippos pillows. “And he means it.” She gave a vehement nod. “Anyway. He’s still getting better, and so are some of you, and we didn’t really have a lot of time to come up with a class. So, pillows!”

"Beat 'em up," Eliot said. "Scream into 'em. Take a nap. We can program some with Gaunt's face on them if you wanted to punch him in the face and didn't get the chance." Eliot may have done some of that before class, yes. Only it wasn't a pillow with his face on it. "Have a damn pillow fight, go nuts."

Parker’s eyes lit up. “Pillow fort!!.. oh, and today is Taco Tuesday. I guess.”

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Tue, 17 Mar 2015 02:29:00 GMT

Posted by: whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com

[Class #10: The Insecure Job]

“This week we’re doing something a little different: working on making your own stuff safe.” Parker was maintaining a strategic distance from Eliot, because if she didn’t, she’d start checking him over for evidence of alien overlords, and that could get violent. “You can go high-tech, with lasers, and safes, and hidden compartments…”

Eliot was pretending not to notice Parker keeping away from him. He wasn't doing a very good job. He stood stiffly, arms crossed over his chest, jaw clenched, occasionally shooting glances at her. "Or you can keep it simple," he said. "Low tech, easy to maintain, hard to hack. A couple basic snares and traps, let anyone going after your stuff know you mean business."

Parker didn’t look at him but her tone was pointed. “Of course, you want to be able to discourage people. But not get them hurt. That could get you sued, or worse, put in jail. And some people will be skilled or strong enough to get out of that kind of thing.”

"And some people are skilled and strong enough to get past the damn lasers and safes," Eliot said, tone about as pointy as it got. "Ain't a damn single thief these days who goes into an apartment expecting a bear trap."

Which made no counter point at all to the whole "getting someone hurt" thing. Eliot was currently perfectly okay with that part.

The expression Parker made at that was her usual ‘you people are insane’ only dialed up to eleven. “Okay! So. Take a look at the security displays here…” A wave to the left at the high-tech, a wave to the right, at the kludge-and-blood-worthy. “...and figure out what works for you.” A pause. “No maiming inside the classroom.” Just deal with that, Eliot.

Eliot rolled his eyes. "Ain't even like you could maim someone in here." For once he actually looked put out by that fact. "So just calm the hell down already, Parker."

The death-glare Parker shot him for that would have done well at taking down a small moon, or a Rebel base.

“Get started, people.”

[ocd is up!]

comments

Creative Problem Solving, Tuesday, period 3

Tue, 10 Mar 2015 00:18:00 GMT

Posted by: vdistinctive

[class #9: The Go(odie) Bag Job]

The class met in what looked like a perfectly normal classroom this week -- though it was still the Danger Shop. The room was lined on all sides with tables covered in a very large variety of items, everything from basic first aid supplies to piles of generic clothing to what would look to be on first examination a stack of blank passports from various countries around Earth (and would turn out on closer inspection to be -- a stack of blank passports from various countries around Earth. Yeah). The table closest to the door had a large variety of bags on it, from large purses to backpacks to duffel bags to rolling bags. The teachers sat at the back of the room at a final, empty table. The middle of the room was empty, with plenty of room for the students to stand.

They won't have seen Eliot look quite so relaxed, before. It was possible that Parker hadn't seen Eliot look quite so relaxed, before. He was leaning back in his chair, tilted precariously on its back legs, his feet up on the table, idly spinning a small black claw on a cord around his neck. When the students started filing in, he looked up and waved with a smile, then went back to fiddling with the necklace.

Parker was shooting Eliot random looks of confusion, because when did he go all zen? Was he planning on killing someone without telling her? Had he discovered a new spice? Did someone drug him? Anyway. “Hi guys. This week, we’re talking go-bags.” She pointed around the room. “What do you take with you when you have to go on a sudden trip? A trip you might not come back from? Or when the apocalypse happens?” She figured some of the kids at least might have to deal with that concept back home. “You should always be prepared. Like those scouts.”

"She means Boy Scouts," Eliot said, without sitting up. "We've got bags for you to choose from, and a wide-range of supplies. My advice: pack light. A bar of soap, a change of clothes, and a good knife will get you plenty far and won't weigh you down when you have to run."

“But maybe you need something special. If you’re not sure what something is, ask me. You don’t want to be like our friend Maggie.” Parker made a sad face. “She would have mixed up the plastic explosives with the toothpaste.”

"None of the explosives'll work outside this room," Eliot told them. Because of course they had tubes of plastic explosives in here. "They're samples only. Same with the weaponry. If you can get your hands on something you can use outsida here, though, they can be useful."

“Now. Make like you’re equipping for time in Antarctica! Or maybe just Texas.” Parker beamed, shooing at them with her fingers. Then she leaned over to poke Eliot in the neck to see if he would react.

Eliot grabbed her by the wrist, face going blank as he squeezed -- then let go and shot her a raised eyebrow. "When you're done," he told the class, a slight edge to his voice. "We've got cookies."

comments