Fandom High School

Math; Wednesday, First Period [12/15].

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 10:28:18 GMT

Posted by: somethingwithturquoise

"Alright, guys," said Summer, as it was time to get class (held in the danger shop classroom sim, because that was never not hilarious, "so this is finally your last class, and I think we can all say that a valiant effort was made." On the part of the students, sure, but mostly on the part of the school and the carousel of teachers they'd all been subjected to. "Normally, this would probably be an exam; there's a test at the back of your textbooks and everything, but I don't think we've made that much improvement since the pop quiz a few weeks back, so we're just going to save everyone the trouble and the paper waste and we're going to play a game instead. It's still, you know, like, a math game, so don't get too excited, but it'll beat taking a test anyway. I hope."

If you'd prefer to take a test right now, Summer was going to judge you so hard.

"Okay, so, the game is called Proof, and here's how you play: there's a stack of cards with various numbers from zero to one hundred here, and you're going to pull out nine of them. From those nine numbers, you get to pick at least four of them, and as many math symbols, like plus or minus or multiply or whatever, as you need. And then you make an equation with two math equations on each side. For example, let's say I use the numbers 2, 6, 11, and 3. And I set up the equation 2 + 6 = 11 - 3. And obviously, the solution to both equations is 8, so whoever shouts out 8 first wins that round. You could also do, I don't know.... 9 x 2 = 25 - 7, and whoever figures it out first should be shouting 18.

"Pretty simple," she hoped, "it's a game made for ten year olds. I think we can manage to challenge ourselves a little bit here. You'll all take turns being the 'dealer' making equations, and we'll just kind of go from there. Any volunteers to go first?"

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [12/08].

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 10:03:03 GMT

Posted by: somethingwithturquoise

Guess what, Math Class! You were meeting in the Danger Shop today! Because that was totally something you'd expect with a math class, right?

Look, it was either this or have Summer go over accounting and budgeting for retail, and she was pretty sure this was going to be super preferable.

"Okay, guys," she started, "so, like, back in the ancient days of the '80s and '90s, a bunch of people tried to use computers and video games to help kids learn and stuff, and they made things like this Math Blaster video game that my dad was weirdly obsessed with when we were little, and so that's what we're doing today, only, like, better, because Danger Shop.

"So it's pretty simple," she offered, "you each get to pilot one of these spaceships here, and a math problem will show up on the screen and you have to, like, shoot the right number that solves the problem? Or else you get shot. And if you get shot too much, well...crash and burn, baby! Then get back in and try again, because, again, Danger Shop."

She...was expecting kind of a lot of that, if the tests from last week were anything to go off of.

"So, suit up, buckle in and let's do math in space, or something, I don't know, I never even took Calculus."

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [12/01].

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 09:57:00 GMT

Posted by: somethingwithturquoise

"So!" Summer greeted the class with clap of her hands and a small sigh as she looked over the room. "This class has been kind of a hot mess, huh? I mean, I'm sure you've all learned at least something, but I'm also pretty sure that it wasn't even remotely math. But what the important thing is...is that hopefully the moose learned something, and it'll be a while before he foists a math class on someone who will go on to foist it onto someone who couldn't even be bothered to math enough to get the right amount of substitute teachers while she was gone...

"But I'm back now, and I have no idea how things have gone in the meantime, so today, we're having a pop quiz just to get a read on where you should be compared to where you actually are. Obviously, this isn't going to count toward a final grade or anything like that. It's just sort of to give me an idea of how fucked we are for the rest of the semester...

"Which," Summer added more brightly, "if you do the math, is only two more weeks, so there's at least that!"

And, with that, she started to hand out the tests.

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [11/24].

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 09:25:03 GMT

Posted by: somethingwithturquoise

There was no new face in front of the math classroom to teach them that week.

There was no face in front of the math classroom at all, in fact.

Because maybe the moose shouldn't have put someone who couldn't even properly count the amount of substitute teachers she would need to get for this class in charge of teaching math.

(Well, technically, the moose had put Rosa in charge of this class, not Summer, but we can all agree that the moose probably shouldn't have done that, either).

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [11/17].

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 10:00:25 GMT

Posted by: hashtag_chocobro

It was a little weird these days, being back in Fandom so soon, but duty called! Specifically, Prompto's duty to be a substitute teacher for that math class, even though he hadn't had a math class since his Insomnia school days, but...well! All part of the job, he guessed, and, even though he had his doubts that his lesson was even going to be all that...math-y, he hoped the students would at least enjoy it?

He definitely was going to make them run like some people! Seriously, Gladio, dude, that had to be some kind of a complex or something...

"Hey, guys!" Prompto's grin and the lift of his hand in a wave was a little nervous, even if, by now, the class was probably used to seeing a different face each week. "Good morning. I'm Prompto, I usually teach....uhh, well, photography, I guess, but today, I'm your sub for math, and we're going to do...well...photography.

"There's a lot of math that goes into photography, actually, especially when you start getting into different lenses and scopes and things like that, but we're going to keep it way more simple than that, and we're going to talk about something that taps more into geometry, and can be used across the board in all kinds of art, not just photography, and that is what's called the rule of thirds.

"Basically, this is a rule followed when someone's trying to be mindful of the composition of their photograph, and it basically divides the image into thirds...thus the reason for calling it the rule of thirds, and it starts with a grid, like this," and he turned to draw a three by three grid on the board. "Three vertical, three horizonal, nine segments all together, and these lines are what you use to guide your framing. So, like, the best shots are going to utilize these spaces to give you the most visually pleasing effect.

"Now, this doesn't mean that all your pictures need to be centered around the middle square! You just generally want to line them up with one aspect of one of the lines, or, even better, utilize the power points, that's these," he circled the points on the grid, "where the lines intercect. If you frame your shot in interesting ways that play with the position of these power points, you're pretty much guaranteed to have a great photo!"

And Prompto broke it down a little further to explain how the rule of thirds helped keep your pictures interesting and more dynmatic, with a few examples from some of his own work, landscape shots of Fandom and Insomnia, at least two Issa pictures, and a cool leaf he saw on the way over here.

"And now," he said, turning with a grin, "I'll take some questions if you have them, but, really, what I wanted to do with the rest of the class is have you guys grab a camera and go out there and try to get a few pictures yourself using the rule of thirds. I have these cool grid overlays for the lenses, too, that can help you visualize it, unless you want to try and do it without. I'll give you guys, like, thirty minutes to go out and take some pictures, and then come on back and we should have some time to go over the pictures and see how well the rule of third applies. Sound good?"

It didn't really sound all that mathematical, now that he thought about it, but oh well! It was more mathmatical than running, at least!

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [11/10].

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 11:07:41 GMT

Posted by: in_sidon_we_trust

Here's a nice math problem for everyone today: exactly how much does Sidon have to duck to fit into the doors to get into a normal classroom these days, and what is the probability that this will lead to some major back problems later in life?

Thankfully, though, later in life, Sidon would likely be so huge that most mobility was just kind of a wash, anyway. But, for now, in his bright and sprightly youth of a mere 100 years old, give or take, he was eager and excited to squeeze into any classroom at all, and today? He was doing so for maths!

There was, however, perhaps one issue with that, and he was just about to get to it.

"Hello, mathematics students!" he greeted them brightly at the front of the classroom with eager, open arms. "I am very excited to be your substitute math teacher this week! For those of you who don't know me," and were hopefully not too confused or potentially terrified at the excitable giant red sharkman standing before you in class!, "I am Sidon!" Here, of course, he pumped his fist energetically across his chest and hit them all with his best, toothy smile, glinting somehow in the sunlight despite being indoors. "The Zora Prince! I used to go to school here, as well, and now I teach, although I must admit, I have never taught mathematics before! In fact, I....don't even think I know what math is!"

Ah yes. There is was.

"But," he forged forward proudly, "I am hardly going to let a thing like that stop me! So for today, since I certainly wouldn't have any clue what to teach you, perhaps you could teach me instead! We're well into the semester now, so, surely, you have learned a great many things about mathematic thus far, yes? Let us spend today going over what you've learned! I am very eager to learn more about what this whole math thing entails, from the very bright and clever people who have doubtless been delighting in the knowledge for weeks now! Who would like to start? What have you learned about that you'd like to share? My ears are open," albeit hidden under head-fins, "and my mind is ready!"

Nothing like a good old recap class!

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [11/02].

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 09:20:22 GMT

Posted by: special_rabbit

At this point, Amaya was clearly on a teaching streak, to the point where she was almost thinking of calling up Sidon and the chocobros to tell them 'don't worry, I got this!' and not bother coming in for their classes this week! Might as well make it a full streak, right?

But, before all that, she needed to get through this class first, and she gave the students a nod when they got to their desks (which, by the way, teaching in an actual classroom was kind of bizarre, and she was thinking this was actually her first time even doing it!).

"Good morning, everyone," she said. "I'm sure you're not surprised to see a bit of a new face at the front of the classroom again today, seems there's a bit of turn-taking going on with this one, but I can assure you, today, you're in good hands! For those of you who don't know, my name is Amaya Blackstone, I usually teach shop class and weaponry around here, but today, looks like I'll be trying my hand at maths. And looking over the notes from the other teachers, I was able to spot a nice gap in the cirriculum so far that means we're going to talk about one of my personal mathematic principles, and that is quadratic equations."

Wait. Did she say...favorite?

"Now, back where I'm from," she continued, "we actually called them Nesselfoot's Quandries," she turned around to write both terms on the board, "and I can't even tell you how many nights I spent staying up late trying to work my way through them!"

Wait a minute...

"Nothing quite like the thrill and fun of wrangling one of these equations into submission with a nice handy formula like a puzzle key to the right solution."

Oh no.

That's right. Amaya Blackstone had secretly been a math nerd this whole time.

Well, maybe not so secretly, if you really thought about it.

"Now," she began oblivious to any worry or dread that might be settling into the class so far, and she continued to write on the board, "the real key to solving any quadratic equation is through the use of the quadratic formula, which goes like this...."

And thus, the lecture continued, in which it was way too early to actually break down into narrative for the poor soul writing this thing, but before long (perhaps much too long), the board was vertibly filled with hopefully everything you'd need to know about Fesselfoot's Quandries...errrr....the Quatradic Formula!

"Pretty simple," said Amaya, turning back to the class now with an eager grin, "once you really look at it, wouldn't you say? So! Who's got questions? Who's ready to do some examples?"

She did, however, notice that she hadn't exactly left much room on the board for more examples beyond those she used in her lecture. "Errr," she said, "or maybe we'll just go off of the worksheets from your textbooks instead."

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [10/27].

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 08:58:51 GMT

Posted by: sake_shinigami

Well, well, well. It would seem that it was now Shunsui's turn on this mathematics carousel of seemingly unrelated substitute teachers, a detail that had entirely slipped his mind, because, of course, he'd forogtten he'd ever even agreed to do this. However, Summer-chan (bless her heart, truly) had made sure to remind him by texting him about it not only this morning, but also last night, knowing full well that a text in the morning alone would be entirely missed.

So, there he was, fulfilling his promise, by rolling in one of those TVs on carts ubiquitous to all schools and (most) substitute teachers.

"Konnichiwa, my little mathematitans~ ♥," he greeted them with a sleepy sort of sing-song. "Today's lesson will be taught through the power of film, via a story that is no doubt very engaging and educational and sure to inspire you to learn even more about mathematics....next week, when it's someone else's turn ♥! Also, I've brought snacks...."

Was it all extra Halloween candy from T&C?

It was definitely all Halloween candy from T&C.

Yes, even the Thanksgiving flavored candy corn from last week.

You're welcome.

"So help yourself, and get comfortable and we will begin the movie ♥!"

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [10/20].

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 09:48:24 GMT

Posted by: sword_chocobro

Surely, part of the fun of this class by now was just going into it to see who might actually be teaching it, since that was an element that hadn't been consistent for a few weeks now. And this week was no different, as the class would find yet another teacher waiting for them in the classroom that week, one that looked completely too amused by this whole fact as he leaned against the desk at the front of the room while everyone came in and got settled.

"So," he started. "It looks like I'm your teacher for this class this week. In case you don't know, my names Gladio Amicitia, I teach the bird class on Fridays."

Look, Gladio was not unaware of what that class had become in the eyes of literally everyone around it, and he was clearly deciding to just embrace it for what it was.

"But today," he continued, "I'm apparently teaching the math class, and we're going to be talking about measurements."

Because what better choice to talk about units than an absolute unit himself?

"Bear with me," he said, lifting up a hand as if to placate the tide of boredom he figured was about ready to wash over them all, "this first part is going to be a little tedius, but we've got to get through the technical stuff before we can do something a little more interesting. But, basically, units of measurement are ways in which we can determine the size, volume, length, weight, so on and so forth, of something, and there might be different ways of measuring things where you're from, but here, there's basically two different systems. You got the metric, and you've got the imperial, and we're going to go over the basic units of each one real quick on the board here, so bear with me..."

With that, he took to the board so that he would at least jot down all the different units of measurements, how they stacked up against each other, all those fun details on the board, frequently consulting his notes because it wasn't like he was going to memorize this stuff for a class he was probably going to be teaching once.

"A lot of these," he allowed, once he was finished, set down the chalk, wiped the dust from his hands and put them on his hips when he turned back to the class, "seem kind of arbirary, right? Especially if you're from somewhere that uses different measurements, but, basically, the people in charge decide what to use, it sticks, so everyone else follows suit, and then you get things like rulers and stuff so that everyone can follow the same standard, it sort of makes everything easier in the long run. I know you guys got textbooks from your teacher the week before the break, there should be a chapter on all this stuff and with all the different units in it that you can use for a refrence, but that's not really my style. I'm more of a hands-on type of guy, so we're going to get out of this classroom, enjoy the nice day we've got ahead of us, and see what we can do to put some of this measurement stuff into practice."

He hitched a thumb toward the door, and then started for it.

"Pack it up, kids, and let's go!"

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [10/06].

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 08:36:51 GMT

Posted by: chef_chocobro

With Summer out in space and Rosa fleeing from this class completely the moment she had even a window of opportunity to do so, it would appear that this intrepid little mathematics class was about to have its third instructor in as many weeks, and this one looked as though he might be every bit the fussy sort of math instructor that his spectacles and the suspenders he'd worn that day might suggest.

"Good morning," he greeted. "For those of you who don't know me, my name is Ignis Scientia, and it appears I will be taking over the duties of instruction for this mathematic course." For just the week? For the rest of the semester? Perhaps time shall tell! "Now, it's come to my attention that you have all been pursuing this subject without even so much as help from a textbook, so I am pleased to announce that we will be rectifying this oversight today." With that, he moved behind the desk to pull up a fat stack of text books and set them on the desk up front, with ha hand brushing futilely over the cover. "They appear a bit old, rarely used, and dusty, but they shall serve their purpose and hopefully be an excellent resource in furthering your education. Now, with that said, let us continue on with the lesson at hand.

"Today," Ignis then turned toward the board so he could start filling it with pretty much every minute detail he was about to cover, "we're going to discuss fractions, which are expressions of parts of a whole. For example, if you have a cake," here he drew a circle on the board, "and you cut it into four equal parts, each slice is 1/4th of the cake. Two slices would be consider 2/4, which you would then reduce down to 1/2, because you would have one half of the cake. And if you took three slices, it would be 3/4, the whole cake would then be 4/4ths, only at that part, you would simply consider it one cake, because you hav eall four parts. The same is you cut it into 5 slices, or 6, or 10, and so on and so forth down the line. In a way, this correlates well with the topic you discussed last week with Miss Smith, percentages, it is just another way of expressing it....

"And, just as with basic math, you may sometimes encounter a situation of combining fractions in a variety of different functions, which is where things start to get a little more interesting..."

Interesting was surely the perfect word to describe the lesson as it went on (and on, and on) to go over everything from equivalent fractions, simplifying and reducing fractions, comparing fractions, and then, finally, adding and subtracting fractions, especially with unlike denominators, and multiplying and dividing them as well.

And once the board was quite filled with information (and hopefully the students weren't bored themselves!), Ignis set down the chalk, looked over his work with satisfaction, and dusted the dust from his gloves.

"Now," he said, "that is quite a lot to go over, so if there are any questions, now would be a good time to ask them. I'll not subject you to having to go up to the board to try and exhibit this new knowledge," there wasn't any room left even if he had!, "but I do have some practice worksheets for you to all go through. Feel free to try to get help from each other or from myself, and we'll save a bit of time at the end of class to go over what we've learned or what we still might be struggling with."

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [09/29].

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 10:08:10 GMT

Posted by: somethingwithturquoise

Summer had thought about putting a note up on the classroom door to tell everyone to meet in the danger shop, only to wander straight into her exact-replica classroom simulation, but, honestly, for math class, where one might actually get their hopes up for doing something other than math, that just seemed...cruel. So it was just the same old regular classroom this week, but with a markedly different teacher at the front of it.

"Hiiiiii, guyyyyyyys," Summer greeted with an almost apologetic sort of drawl. "So, some of you may know me, some of you might not, but my name's Summer and I'm temporarily going to be your teacher this week." Because she owed penance and might possibly be flailing for what to do about the rest of the weeks, since she'd promised Rosa she'd find someone else to teach it and hadn't yet, she had a lot going on this week, okay?. "Now, full disclosure, I am definitely not a math scholar by any margin of the word, I'm pretty sure I was literally thisclose to failing out of it in my earlier high school days, and most of it's kind of useless because we have phones. But, in the spirit of the class and to avoid any issues with a very demanding moose that seems a little way too into this whole math class thing, we're going to at least try to learn how to do something, like, the old fashioned way, like we're, I don't know, fucking cavemen, or whatever. Abacus optional.

"Specifically, I figured we'd try to do something useful that, you know, actually shows up in a lot of places, in my jobs in particular, and that's percentages. We'll mostly focus on what kind of deals you're getting when there's a great sale going on somewhere, sales taxes, and tips, because always tip your waitstaff and bartenders, people! So, like, what even is a percentage? Welllll, according to Wikipedia, it's a number or ratio expressed as a fraction of 100, or basically, a part of a whole...."

At which point she drew a circle on the board, dividing it in half, and explaining how each half represented 50% of the circle. Then into quarters--25%--and then into various different percertages and blah blah blah. And that lead into breaking down how to even figure this shit out, using sales, sales tax, and how to tip your bartender as the main examples, but with a few other things tossed in, until the board was sort of filled with some attempted equations (she definitely pulled out her calculator a few times to double check her own work) and a lot of tangential drawings that she felt really added some flavor and interest to the whole thing.

"So, yeah," she concluded. "That's percentages, I guess? I mean, even with the tip thing, there's literal apps you can use to figure that out, but, hey, I guess all this is pretty useful if you, like, lost your phone or something or you're one of those poor souls from worlds without them. Any questions? What do you guys do now? Like, I mean, I guess come up to the board and do some examples? I seriously do not know what to do here with a normal class, like what even is this? I feel like I should have brought gremlins in whith me or something, just to mkae it be something...."

She didn't, for the record, although maybe that gave her an idea for next week if she failed to find a substitute for her subtituting this class by next week.

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [09/22].

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 08:35:48 GMT

Posted by: died8yearsago

Anyone in the class (which she was pretty sure was most of the class) who already had a basic understanding of math would probably be able to guess what they were getting themselves into based on the figures that were on the board when they came in that morning, but, just in case anyone needed the help, Rosa was there to explain.

"Today," she informed them, "we're doing geometry. Shapes and shit. I think it's supposed to be applicable to the things we see in every day life, but I don't think I know a single person who might actually use any of this in real life, safe for some real nerds."

Although, to be fair, she did know a lot of nerves.

"So today, we're going a break down of the the different shapes and their properies as well as equations to figure out incredibly useful things like the perimeter of a triangle or the theorum of some dude who's been dead for thousands of years that you'll definitely use in real life all the time, so pay attention because I really only want to do this once."

And so she set off to do just that, in quite possibly the world's most sarcastic lecture about geometry to ever exist, that will be entirely handwaved because there's no way a certain someone is actually writing a lecture about geometry before four o'clock in the morning.

And not even after.

And that was that.

"Before you go," Rosa added, as she set down the chalk on (thank God) the last of it and turned back to the students, "be sure to pick up your homework, to be done outside of class so if you need help, you can ask the Internet instead of me."

She hesitated a moment, dreading if there was an actual response to this next part: "Any questions before we go?"

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [09/15].

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 10:19:35 GMT

Posted by: died8yearsago

If the students couldn't tell by the way Rosa came in just slightly behind the start of class and threw her math textbook (which looked like it had probably been thrown quite a few times as a variety of different things but mostly walls and possibly through at least one window) on the desk with a sigh that there was very clearly nothing else she would rather be doing right now that teaching another dumb math class. Definitely no actual work or anything she could be doing, nope, just math, apparently, but at least it would be over soon and eventually, she might even get to the point where she decided she wasn't going to let a stupid moose dictate her life like this, dammit.

That thought seemed to play in her mind a little as she looked at that book, but, this time, for yet another week, the moose and the book won out and she turned her attention to the students.

"Right," she said. "Algebra today. Which seemed to be where we lost some of you on the assessment test, so this should be fun. But most algebra isn't really that hard; some of it is ridiculous and stupid, sure, but the basic stuff is really just like solving a puzzle or a mystery. Or a crime. Where a or b or x is like the suspect, and you've got to figure out who it is so the rest of it all fits together. For example..."

( Why am I actually writing this lesson out??? )

She set down the chalk, wiped some dust off her hands and realized that her black wardrobe was probably going to be a problem in this class until they changed that board, and turned to the class.

"You followed all that, right?" she asked, and, for their sake, she hopes that they did, because she didn't know how else to explain it and it should be interesting if they didn't. "Let's just....practice some of it, I guess. I'll call your name, you'll come up to the board," she winced in advance for Malia's turn, "I'll give you a problem, and we'll see if you can work it out, either by yourself or with help from the class. Or...something."

She didn't know. She didn't teach math!

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Math; Wednesday, First Period [09/08].

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 09:50:33 GMT

Posted by: died8yearsago

Well, Rosa wasn't covered in scales today, which, if you asked her, was kind of a downgrade, she thought they'd look pretty badass, but she still had to teach math class, which was significantly less badass, and while she glowered over all the ways in which Summer was probably completely ruining her badass empire at this school, she still wasn't sure exactly what to actually do about it.

Which meant she was still teaching math. And wondering what to do about October swiftly approaching. There was at least one idea approaching there, but it was still in its baby stages. She might need another week to sort of figure that out more completely, and so there they were. In math class.

With a stack of papers that she'd actually gone over once they were handed in ast week and graded, which she hadn't expected she'd even bother with, but what started out as genuine curiosity to see just what a clusterfuck mathematics at this school would be turned into an oddly sincere effort to comb through the assessment tests to grade them.

Of course, since she hadn't bothered with introductions (and wouldn't have remembered, anyway), she was stuck with not knowing which test went to which student, with a few notable exceptions.

(If you were an exception and Rosa actually did know your name...that was up to you to decide whether or not that was actually a good thing).

It was fine, there was a simple solution to this. "Okay," she started, "so I went over your tests from last week, and it's not as bad as I thought. You all seem to have a general competency with math, so that's....good. When I call your name, come up and get your test, and then we're going to move on to multiplication and division."

Weren't you all just so thrilled?

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 12/14 ].

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 08:07:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

"Good news, everyone!" Professor Farnsworth walked into the classroom with a smile on his geriatric face. "Today's the last day of class. Of any class I'll ever have to teach at this school with you idiotic, brainless children! I'm finally getting out of here, and getting back to a civilized society. Now, now, now, don't start wibbling and crying. I know you're very disappointed, but, really, it's for the best, as I'm afraid I would have had to send in doomsday robots to kill you all if I had to be subjected to teaching another fifteen weeks of drivel to you primitives."

"To celebrate," he continued happily, "there will be no exam! Do you think I want to spend any of my time back grading the ridiculous tests I had planned for these classes? No. Once I get back to the future, it's all fun and sexy women and goodbye, moderation! In celebration of our final departure, thank Science, I've brought you all a treat of some wonton burrito meals."

"No," he added on a surly note, "I didn't make them, so they're safe. I have the receipts if you don't believe me. But whether or not you'd trust anything that hippie bum at the general store sells is up to you."

[[ ~~wait for~~ the OCD is up! ]]

[[ Previous Classes ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 12/07 ].

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:58:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

Oh, sure, there was some random maze with little goblins taking over the island, with people disappearing and having dreams from hallucinagenic peaches, but Farnsworth felt that was no excuse for laziness. It didn't matter to him that other teachers were canceling classes left and right. He saw, in this situation, an opportunity that was not to be missed. An opportunity to make his students that weren't kidnapped for wishing they had been.

"Good news, everyone!" he started. "We have new visitors on the island, and, as scientists, it's our job to examine these creatures and discover if there are any ways in which we might best exploit them. Surely, you all remember our class at the beginning of the semester, where we met Nibbler, who pooped out dark matter that could be used for a fuel source and basically proved that the universe is crap. Well, these 'goblins' remind me an awful lot of Nibbler and so I have collected for you today a wide variety of their droppings so that you, my intrepid young mathematicians, can have the exclusive privileged of seeing if the next great fuel source lies within these piles of excrement."

"And just think, won't Al Gore be pleased? The instructions for testing are on these little sheets at each lab; partner up if you wish, but I'd make sure to insist on a 60/40 split of the spoils if you find the winning pile of poop. If you have any questions, I'll be over there, far away from the smell."

[[ OCD is ~~on the way~~ up! And I apologize as always for farnsworth ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/30 ].

Tue, 30 Nov 2010 09:14:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

"Good afternoon, class," said Farnsworth, who was in the mood to just get the torture of having to teach done and out of the way. "Today we're going to be talking about that astronomical anomaly commonly called a Void."

( Just like the ones in your heads. )

Finally, finally, he finished, and yet, somehow, there was still more time left in class. That, thankfully, was another subject on the relativity of time, especially when stuck in a boring class with a crazy professor, for another class. For now, he clapped his hands together and turned to his class with a serene, gassy sort of smile. "What I have today for you is a packet to work these equations and to see what results you get for where the proposed portal will end up. So get your nubile selves up here and get your homework and get to work."

[[ OCD is ~~heading in~~ arrived! ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/23].

Tue, 23 Nov 2010 08:37:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

"Today's lesson," Farnsworth said to his students once class had started, "should be one that you should all excel in, as we will be studying a particular branch of science that explores how the simplest and most stupid solution is often the best. I am speaking, of course, of troll science. And while troll science is a tried and true science in my century, you young people are living on the cusp of the troll science revolution! It has just started to get some notice, and so the ideas may be too new and innovative for your primitive minds, but, remember! In the past, new sciences have always been regarded with great skepticism. Gravity, anyone? Heliocentricism? Evolution?"

"I have collected for you a workbook of variety of troll science theories, and we will go through them and discuss which ones may be crap and which ones will likely live on to be discovered as legit] scientific fact. For example, the Flying Cat theory, which, in 2956, inspired governments the universe over to ban the buttering of cats when flying cats became a plague upon decent human beings. Others, however, such as the Chimney Loop are pure and utter crap, because everyone knows that Santa is a homicidal maniac, and no one would want him continually coming to their home. And some are not quite ready for this time period, as the Unlimited Uranium theory may suggest.

"Also, keep an eye out for which ones are supported by topics already discussed in this class. As you can see, the missing link theory compliments the Grandfather Paradox discussed a few weeks ago, the Sixth Dimension theory may shed some angles on our discussion of dimensions, and, of course, there is the very practical application of the aforementioned Superduper Symmetrical String Theory."

"I would like, then, to discuss some of the many Troll Science theories in class today, and would also like to see if you can come up with your own, though, let's be honest, they're likely all going to fall into the category of pure and utter crap."

[[ ~~please wait for~~ the OCD used magnets for infinite OCD! Some Troll Science links can be fairly NWS, slightly offensive, and...okay, probably not safe for anyone with an inkling of intelligence, but I can just be a terrible person sometime. The first one, at least, is just a simple Encyclopedia Dramatica explanation and I tried to keep the examples decent, if only offending the artistic eye and a sense of a proper grammar, except the Missing Link one. ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/16].

Tue, 16 Nov 2010 06:52:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

Farnsworth did not seem to be in a particularly good mood when class started today. True, that was little different from usual, but there did seem to be a little extra surliness in his scowl this afternoon.

"I'm dealing with a broken floozy of a robot right now," he informed the class, "so I didn't have time to put together a lesson for you today. Instead, you're going to write an essay about what you would do if you ran into another parallel universe version of yourself to prevent breaking the time-space continuum. I expect you to use the whole hour. Hope your wrists are feeling limber, but that shouldn't be a problem after last week, you degenerates."

With that, he was going to sit at his desk, fold his arms over his chest, and make sure they wrote.

[[ ~~wait for~~ the OCD is up, ~~please~~ thank you! ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/09 ].

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 07:56:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

"I feel," Farnsworth said to his class today as things got started, "that today is a very good day to discuss a very important topic in the subject of Quantum Neutrino Fields, and that is what I like to call Let's Hope You're Not Your Own Grandfather."

( Oh, a lesson in not changing history from mister I'm my own grampa )

Forget lectures on horrifying STD to scare a little bit of abstinence into these raging balls of USTs. Farnsworth was going to try to do it with Quantum Physics.

[[ wait for the ocd! ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 11/02].

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 13:33:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

There was no Fansworth in class today. Farnsworth didn't want to teach today, he had a robot to build, and so he decided that he wasn't going to. This did not mean his students would get off easy and not have to come to class, either. He'd still want them to suffer.

Which is why he rigged the door to shock anyone who tried to just leave early.

On the board was scribbled: "Assignment for today: Watch video on quantum physics. Take notes. Write six page essay on concepts of jumping dimensions and traveling through them. Also, no, I'm not dead. Sooooo sorry to disappoint you. --HJF.

At least they didn't have to deal with him today, right?

[[ ~~please wait for~~ the OCD is up ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/26].

Tue, 26 Oct 2010 08:35:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

As the students came into the classroom today, they would find Farnsworth putting the finishing touches on that weird dog picture from last week. On the top, he had written: "TODAY'S LESSON: WD Witten's Dog"

( So, would we know if the Witten's Dog ate Schrödinger's cat if we didn't open up the dog? )

He turned to the class with an expression on the hopeful side of maniacal. "Let's discuss!"

[[ ocd is ~~on the way~~! Or is it? How will you know unless you open the post? ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/19 ].

Tue, 19 Oct 2010 08:16:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

The only nice thing about that whole vacation thing last week was that Farnsworth didn't have to teach, and he decided it was so nice, that he didn't really have to teach today, either.

By 'not teaching,' he meant recycling another class from the summer. It was perfect, because it still looked like teaching.

"I see you've all survived the last week and subsequent gender-bending last few days," said Farnsworth at the beginning of class, not even bothering to mask his disappointment. The most depressing part of the whole trip was the utter lack of teenager-eating robot abominable snow men, and his utter lack of ability to make an army of them before the vacation was complete. He went to the blackboard and wrote: Today's Lesson: Superduper Symmetrical String Theory and, below it, a great mass of goobledy gock formulas, and a diagram of what looked like dog, but a dog covered in a giant dog-sized sock tied with string.

He went on to explain a whole mess of information regarding how the superduper symmetrical string theory, or SD SdT from here on in, is all about a quantum theory of gravity, which is different than a quantum theory of, say, electromagnetism, nuclear forces, or your mom. Essentially, it is focused on the idea that the universe could never be smaller than the size of a string, at which point it would actually begin expanding, and that no measurable differences can be detected between strings that wrap around dimensions smaller than themselves and those that move along larger dimensions.

Which all made enough sense a baby could figure it out and was surely helped along by Farnsworth's drawings, which appeared like they belonged more on a Rorschach test than a mathematics classroom.

"Now," Farnsworth continued without pause, "our physical space is observed by complete idiots to have only three large dimensions and, taken together with duration as the fourth dimension, a physical theory must take this into account. However, nothing prevents a theory from including more than 4 dimensions, you know. String theory here consistency requires spacetime to have 10 dimensions. We have four here." He drew something on the board. "Where are the other six?"

"So your assignment today," he turned back to the class with such a deceptively kind smile, "is to create one of those missing six dimensions. Won't that be fun? Hopefully you can all come up with less lame ideas than those crackpots who took this class before you."

"And when you're finished with that, I have this very informative video for you to watch and, next week, I'd like you to write a six page report for next week about its main points and how it showcases the theories on the mathematics of quantum neutrino fields discussed thus far."

Assigning a long report on a homecoming weekend was just the sort of thing to make Farnsworth's day better.

[[ ~~wait for~~ the OCD is all strung out! ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [10/05].

Tue, 05 Oct 2010 09:27:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

It appeared as though Farnsworth was not planning to waste any time getting into today's lecture. He was clearly a man with something to say, which meant he had to say it quickly before he forgot it.

( Paradox Theory of Theorums )

"So you'll find," said Farnsworth, "that the qualities of offspring compared to their parents' opinions can vary greatly, while, in almost all cases, infomerical products will inevitably fall under the Paradox. Let's take some time to discuss other things that might fit under the Paradox Theory, run it through, and see what we come up with, shall we?"

And, really, if not even on of them managed to bring Farnsworth's sanity up to the plate in some fashion, he'd be utterly disappointed in them. Even if they would be wrong, because Farnsworth certainly never made any claims to being sane.

[[ OCD, ~~it is a coming~~ is one thing that shall never be a paradox, except with the ending of the world. ]]

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The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [09/28].

Tue, 28 Sep 2010 09:43:00 GMT

Posted by: ivejustinvented.livejournal.com

"I hope you all have finished your worksheets from last week about testing the equations on your friends," Farnsworth said by way of introduction, "because otherwise, you get a big fat F. I'll have you turn them in at the end of class, though, so, if you want to scramble to make things up while I'm lecturing, you can."

He was feeling so magnanimous today.

( It's Bigger on the Inside! )

"Now, some people may make the argument that many of these space-dimension distortions are the work of 'magic,' but that's a load of poppycock!" He smack a hand on the board with the equations. "Scientists have worked hard to prove that it's scientifically possible. So, take some time, discuss amongst yourselves because I don't care, any experience you may have had with these and try to apply the equations that shows how its even mathematically impossible. Or make one up. I don't care, as long as it's mathematical sound."

[[ OCD ~~coming~~ is up! ]]

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