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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 10 Apr 2026 15:52:34 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

It was movie day in fighting class! The students would find their teacher absent and a screen set up for a film, so they could learn about boxing. It was educational.

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 16:09:53 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

Today, the Danger Shop was set up as an archery range, and Thor greeted his students by telling them, "The benefit of ranged weaponry is, of course, that you can use it from a distance. You are far safer from your attacker if you are not close enough for them to punch or stab you. In the modern era, the most common form of ranged weapon is the firearm, which is artless." So there, guns.

"We will begin with the traditional longbow," Thor decreed, and proceeded to demonstrate to his students how to string a bow, draw, aim, and fire. "Now you try. Remember, if you manage to shoot yourself in the foot, you will not be harmed, but points will be deducted."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 13 Mar 2026 18:03:56 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

Today, the students would find...a rack of hammers.

"Fear not," Thor assured them. "You will not be judged on technique." At least not out loud. "Today is merely about familiarizing yourself with another form of weaponry. That it is my preferred weapon is irrelevant." Uh-huh. "We have a variety of options here, from true warhammers to smaller mallets, as a warhammer is quite heavy. You will note that my Mjolnir looks somewhat different from any of these; that is because it was forged with a shorter handle than is typical. If you would like to know the reason, perhaps you should ask Dr. Blake." Thor smiled, wry. "Norse mythology is his field of expertise this semester, I believe. So. Find a hammer that feels good to you and take a few swings at the practice dummies. See what you can learn by doing, and I will aid you as I can."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 19:21:12 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

"Today we continue our exploration of various weapons with the staff. The staff has much to recommend it. It is versatile and unobtrusive. One can carry a walking stick even in modern times without being perceived as armed. It is not, however, the most lethal of weapons, although never count blunt force trauma out. Please watch this instructional video, and then try out some of the movements for yourselves."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 16:35:55 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

"Today," Thor proclaimed, "you will familiarize yourselves with swords. Now, I do not expect you to become masters of the blade within the confines of one semester, even if the entire semester was dedicated to the art, which it will not be." Swords were boring. Hammers were where it was at. "But the sword is a highly individualized weapon. What works for one person will not for another. So today you will experiment." Thor gestured to a rack of various ~~handwavey~~ swords. "Here we have an assortment of blades. Long, short, one-handers, two-handers. Some are meant for stabbing, others for slashing. Try them. Take your frustrations out on the practice dummies. We will discuss proper grip and form once you know which blade you will be using."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 16:23:56 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

Today, Thor had a knife, which he kept flipping in the air and catching by the handle as he spoke. "A knife is the simplest weapon to carry," he proclaimed. "They are small, portable, and in some times and places, ubiquitous, although in this time and place there are laws regarding them that you would do well to familiarize yourselves with." He didn't necessarily say you had to follow them. Just know how to break them without getting caught, okay?

"Today we will learn the basics of fighting with knives," he said, before proceeding to give a lecture on the topic, complete with appropriate demonstrations. "Please pair up, select your weapons from the ~~handwavey~~ assortment available, and practice."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 16:41:53 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

Today the Danger Shop had been set up with punching bags, and Thor explained to his students, "Today you will learn how to throw a punch, or review the skill, if you have already been taught. First, and most critically, learn how to make a fist: your thumb goes on the outside of your fingers, not the inside. Tucked inside, you risk breaking it. Do not do this. Second, learn where to punch. The face is an obvious target, but it is full of bones close to the surface, and punching hard surfaces risks damage to your hand. This does not necessarily mean you should not hit someone in the face--a swollen eye or a broken nose can debilitate your opponent enough to assure your victory or escape--but that you should be prepared for the consequences." Thor pulled up an anatomical diagram made of hard light and pointed out other good targets, such as the solar plexus, the kidneys, and the groin.

"Now, how does one throw a punch? There are six basic forms of punch: the jab, the cross, the lead and rear hook, and the lead and rear uppercut. You may have heard of the 'haymaker,' which is similar to a hook but unbalanced and leaves one open to counterattack. You will learn better form here."

Thor ~~handwavily~~ guided his students through each form of punch, then sent them to the bags to practice for the rest of class. "You may focus on one punch or rotate through all of them. The choice is yours, but I would recommend the latter approach. No one tool will serve in all circumstances."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 18:05:56 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

Dr. Donald Blake had been called in for emergency surgery, and for some mysterious reason this meant Thor Odinson was unavailable to teach today, which meant the students would enter the Danger Shop to find a movie theater and a film cued up to start at the time class began. Enjoy your movie day!

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 16:41:20 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

"We will begin," Thor told his class without further preamble, "with some basic self-defense. Some of you may be more advanced than this, but it never hurts to review the basics." And some of you seemed to think magic would always save you, so learning how to kick someone in the groin was a step in the right direction. "Pair up, and I shall demonstrate, and then you can practice on one another. Please remember not to actually follow through. You are not simulations, and I do not wish for you to harm one another grievously. Let us begin."

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Combat 101, Friday Second Period

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 16:52:46 GMT

Posted by: ifwebeworthy

"Good morning," Thor greeted his students once they had assembled in the Danger Shop, which was set up to look like a training facility, with mats on the floor and racks of weapons lining the walls. "I am Thor, and this is Combat. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the facility, we are currently inside a simulation, with safeguards in place. You cannot come to any great harm here, but I find that some little harm is necessary when learning to fight. You must learn how to take a fall. You must learn how to take a hit. Some of this knowledge will come with bruises, with aches that remind us of our limits so that we may surpass them.

"I fear I am not particularly well-acquainted with any of you, so we shall begin with the customary introductions. Fear not; unless you have another class today it is the last time you shall be subjected to them this semester. Please tell me who you are, and your level of experience with combat or self-defense, and in what form. Let me know what I am working with, and then I will know where we should begin."

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Ass-Kicking 101, Thursday, 3rd Period

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 12:36:41 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

Well, class, it seemed like it was time for practical applications of what had been taught so far as the danger shop was done up to look like a bar.

Possibly a tavern even.

"So, today were going to try out what you've learned," Jane said over the ambient bar noise.

Which would explain why NPCakin behind the bar looked so nervous. "For some unknown reason, one of the likeliest places for a spontaneous fight to break out is a tavern just like this."

"We are not condoning bar fights on vacation next week," Jane added firmly. Well. She wasn't.

"Not starting them, at least." If one happened to start up while you were there on the other hand... A very important distinction!

"So, let's get you started in a nice, safe environment for it," Jane said, pushing a bar stool over to somehow just set the whole place off.

Oh, look, someone had already flung NPCakin across the room. A new record!

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Ass-Kicking 101, Thursday, 3rd Period

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 12:37:16 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The first class of the semester was in the Danger Shop as it was the best place for subjects like this. Also because it allowed the teachers to more easily set up a little punch bag area for each student.

"Hi!" Jane said with a smile as the class filed on in. "Welcome to Ass-Kicking 101. I'm Dr. Jane Foster."

"I'm Cara," Cara said, with the air of a woman who'd been woken by squirrels in the small hours. "We hit things, we're very good at it."

"And we'd like to hear about you guys too," Jane said. "Your names, your experience in the subject, what you want to learn here..."

"Then you can punch the bags so we can see if you're lying." Tact, Cara, it was a thing you were capable of.

Jane winced, but really couldn't fault it too much. "I brought donuts since it's our first day," she added.

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 21 Apr 2022 12:51:00 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The glasses were all put up in the tavern in honor of the last class of the semester. Or because they couldn't help but program the bartender to act like a real bartender in the face of all that punching.

"Today is our last class together," Jaskier said with theatrical solemnity. "Unless you take our class in the summer, of course."

Oh, Cara could never escape him.

She could try, but alas, it seemed the one thing she was destined to fail at. "Which means it's time to see just how much you've learnt."

"And we have so very much enjoyed our time with you and would like to celebrate the occasion with--oh no, why is he putting up the alcohol now?" Someone didn't tell Jaskier what the plan really was.

He mightn't have turned up if she'd done that. "We're going to have a good, old-fashioned free for all, and I do mean all," Cara said with a grin

"Oh. Oh, you're just mean." Why was he so into that?

Cara did not know why, and she didn't need to know. "Be gentle," she said, as she went to shove Jaskier into the fray. "He's delicate."

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 07 Apr 2022 12:32:34 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The class was back in the trusty, reliable inn simulation. "It's possible that some of you are processing some feelings after last weekend." Like relief you hadn't had a child with your co-teacher. "Punching can help with that."

Punching and repression, two great tastes...

Jaskier just sneezed because someone shoved him into a pond. And he was such a delicate flower. "So much needs to be repressed from it," he agreed. "I usually suggest alcohol, personally."

Jaskier, no.

"Luckily, you can even combine the two."

CARA, NO.

"You can!" Jaskier agreed. But hopefully it was because he was on cold medicines.

Spoilers: it wasn't.

These were the teachers, folks. These two right here.

Cara would have you know she was a paragon of educational excellence compared to some of the teachers when she was a student here. "In case you haven't figured it out already, it's time for a barfight."

With that, Jaskier shamelessly slunk behind the bat to hide as an NPC tavern goer hurled a chair.

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 13:34:30 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The tavern today was set up as usual with Jaskier hiding a bit behind the bar. Just in case.

"Welcome, welcome! So glad to have you back!" He proclaimed.

"Today we'll be moving onto a more advanced kind of punching," Cara said. "Punching with your feet." Or kicking as she liked to call it when she wasn't winding people up.

"Kicking," Jaskier added quickly. "She means kicking. Which is why I am over here."

Had he been kicked in planning this class? Possibly.

He said that like she'd kicked him hard, or in any especially sensitive areas. "Now, there are almost as many ways of kicking as there are of punching, but the one with most reliable results involves your knee and the other person's crotch."

See, Jaskier, it could always be worse! So much worse!

Jaskier winced and immediately went to cover himself. "We have dummies to try it out on?"

"And remember, despite what you may think, it can work just as well on women as men."

Jaskier nodded sagely at that. "So! Let's begin, shall we?"

He was still hiding behind the bar.

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 17 Feb 2022 13:23:05 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

The first thing the class would have noticed when they entered the tavern was that it was very, very loud. Even more so than usual. This was because, Cara, relieved that the island had not pulled any of tricks over the weekend, and in a decision she'd soon come to regret had agreed to let Jaskier have a little music, as a treat.

Which, of course, meant a concert! A very loud, very raucous concert. He gave Cara a thumbs up, keeping the NPC crowd singing along. Programming your perfect audience was such fun, you know.

"The thing about fighting in the real world as opposed to training and sparring is that other people tend not to respect your need for focus and lack of distractions," Cara said, not as dryly as she'd hoped given she had to raise her voice to be heard.

At the back of that crowd of concert goers, two of the programmed people bumped into each other and started pushing one another in a clear beginning of a fight. But oh, the concert went on.

Cara didn't bat an eyelid as the pushing turned into shoving. "Consider it a test of your situational awareness," she said, as the test started drifting towards them. "And how well you accomplish tasks with a distraction."

Which meant that little tussle was spilling over into more of the crowd and toward the students now. So. Have fun, kiiiiids.

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 13:43:40 GMT

Posted by: ohvalleyofpenis

Class was not meeting in the Danger Shop today, class was meeting out the front of the school, where Cara looked genuinely cheerful.

"We're actually using a loose definition of punching for this class, more of a with the right attitude anything can be a punch philosophy." Which was really the only kind worth engaging with, really.

"A snowball fight," Jaskier explained with an expressive little hand gesture on the subject. "Which can be quite ruthless depending on your cohorts."

Did he side eye Cara at that? Yes. Definitely.

Cara did not care that she was being side-eyed. Cara was patting a snowball into shape with evident glee. "Think of it as like punching with snow. From a distance. Though it doesn't have to be a great distance." On a completely related note, how far away was Jaskeir standing from her?

Because it wasn't far. So, you know. As an example...

On the bright side, that meant Cara wouldn't have to throw it very hard? "You have five minutes to figure out any strategies, alliances or defensive plans, then it's a free for all. Starting now."

Then she threw the snowball at Jaskier.

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 12:35:46 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

When the class filed into the Danger Shop one of your teachers was wearing a grump expression and a pretty blue dress, the latter had a lot to do with the former. "Unfortunately, some problems, especially on this island, cannot be solved by hitting things. Believe me, I've tried."

And, for a moment there, Jaskier was a bird who was in complete agreement with that statement. Welcome to One Of Those Days here, folks. Wasn't it just fun?

"Luckily today's nonsense seems to only pose a danger to your dignity." Cara was tired, so very, very tired of this island sometimes. "But since even that may prove a barrier to effective learning, today we're going to focus on the value of violence as stress relief."

That explained the giant inflatble gremlin then.

"Oh, Melitele's tits," Jaskier gasped once he was back to being human again. "I'll even take a swing today."

Cara, whose pretty blue dress had turned into a frothy pink monstrosity, patted him on the shoulder in vague sympathy. "Hitting things makes you feel better."

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ALL PUNCH, Thursday, Period 3

Thu, 06 Jan 2022 13:56:13 GMT

Posted by: wrongkindofsith

Was Cara looking especially smug as the class filed into the Dangershop, set up with their trusty bar sim, albeit with the furniture moved to the sides and a punching bag set up? Yes. She totally was.

"Not even just a bit of singing?" Jaskier wheedled. Because it was his life blood! Also, he was the damsel in distress, not the fighter in this story and everyone knew it.

No doubt even people who weren't even in this class knew it. "Fine. If we need a soundtrack for anything," Cara replied under her breath, already regretting it as she raised her voice. "Welcome to 'ALL PUNCH', which because this place always needs clarifying is about learning to punch."

"And not breaking something important in your hand," Jaskier added as it was one of the only things he could contribute to a fight. That and hiding under a table.

"Which is something we'll be covering today," Cara said. "Because in addition to the normal introductions you should've realised by now that you'll be making, we'll also be introducing you to making a proper fist."

Which left Jaskier pointing directly at Cara for that part. You know. In case anyone was confused about the punchy gal here.

Cara sighed, audibly, and held her hands up, curling them into fists. "As you can see, my thumb is outside my fingers and my wrist is straight, both of these reduce the chances of hurting yourself more than whatever you're trying to hit."

"Now!" Jaskier said, clapping his hands together. "Let's all give it a go, shall we?"

"Yes," Cara said, grinning at Jaskier. "In turn you're going into come up, introduce yourself, for example, I'm Cara, show me you can make a proper fist, then give the bag your best punch. Starting with Jaskier."

"Oh gods, no." This would end poorly, class.

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Fighting And Fabulousity, Wednesday, Period One

Wed, 16 Aug 2017 15:06:45 GMT

Posted by: seveninchmotto

The last session was being held in a normal classroom. No weapons in sight - but, there were a bunch of feather boas, again, on the teacher's desk at the front of the class. Yes.

And Isabelle perched on the edge of the desk. "So, we meet for the last time," she said. "And we're ending this on a discussion. I want to hear what your thoughts are on fighting and fabulousity? Do you think there's any reason for the two to mix at all? Is it necessary or even smart to aim at being fabulous when mortal peril might be involved?"

She shrugged. "For my part, looking good is very important to me just in general. And because of that, it's very natural for me to mix the two, because knowing I look great adds a sliver of confidence. I'm not saying I need it. But I enjoy it, all the same."

It made hunting demons in the sewers a little more bearable, for one.

"Oh, and once we're done, you can all grab yourselves a feather boa. The administration told me I couldn't give you weapons. Apparently it's frowned upon." A beat. "So if anyone's interested in getting a nice blade, talk to me after class."

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Fighting and Fabulousity, Wednesday, 1st Period

Wed, 09 Aug 2017 17:14:54 GMT

Posted by: seveninchmotto

Isabelle clasped her hands together once everyone had filed in. They were in the Danger Shop, although it was set up to look more like a home ec classroom. There were sinks and stovetops – and a rack with feather boas on it. There were twice the number of students of them, and half of them were clean, half of them dirty.

"Today, we'll continue on from last week," Isabelle began. "Sometimes, you have to fight in a feather boa." If you were Isabelle, anyway. YMMV, otherwise. "And sometimes, that may mean you might get all sorts of disgusting gunk on it. Slime, ichor, whatever. And that's when you need to learn how to clean the damn thing, because you can't let a good accessory go to waste just because a monster decided to spill its guts on it."

She lived an interesting life.

"So, we'll do this in two parts. First, you'll each pick a dirty feather boa and wash it. Once you hang that one up to dry, you can grab a clean, dry one, and practice re-fluffing its feathers with steam. I'll talk you through it more throughly as we get started, but now, grab your boas."

Not dirty.

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Fighting and Fabulousity, Wednesday, 1st Period

Wed, 02 Aug 2017 17:21:03 GMT

Posted by: seveninchmotto

"First off, apologies about last week," Isabelle began as everyone had come in. "My other job back in New York kept me away for an emergency. I have no idea what the guidance counselor showed to you ––" Sarah's note had not been very helpful. "–– but I hope it was at least fun, if nothing else."

Well, she knew how this school worked with 'sudden lack of teacher' situations.

"Anyway, now that we're all here, time to get back to business." They were in the Danger Shop once more, this time standing in a hallway in front of a giant wooden door. Next to the door, there was a table with their famliar chosen weapons from the first lesson laid out on it.

(And next to it was another table, with something else. But they'd get to that.)

Isabelle was smirking. "This time, it's time for you to kick some ass." She gestured at the door. "Through here, you'll enter a simulation where you'll face a monster. You'll be armed with only what you chose in the first class ––" Sorry, Eric! "–– but, the monster will be in proportion to whatever weapon you chose. No one's going in on a fully impossible mission." As much as that was a good lesson for some, sometimes. "However, if you still want to change your weapon, you can talk to me about it. I'll decide on a case-by-case basis."

She gestured at the table. "Now, pick up your weapons." Then she gestured at the other table. "And your feather boas."

... Yes, she said that with a straight face. And yes, there was a tableful of ~~moddable!~~ feather boas. And yes, she absolutely was going to make them wear them for this assignment.

"Now, who wants to go first?"

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Fighting and Fabulousity, Wednesday, 1st Period

Wed, 26 Jul 2017 15:32:22 GMT

Posted by: electrocynic

No Isabelle this week. Instead, Electroclash was standing at the front of the classroom when the students came in.

"Your regular teacher can't be here today ––" Something about 'urgent demon matters', which she wasn't going to repeat here. "–– and I can't be arsed to actually teach you anything, so, you get a movie day."

What, like she was going to sugarcoat it.

She just pressed play.

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Fighting and Fabulousity, Wednesday, 1st Period

Wed, 19 Jul 2017 17:15:50 GMT

Posted by: seveninchmotto

The Danger Shop was a mall today: a mall that was all clothing stores in a vast array of styles. And class was meeting by an escalator, where Isabelle was standing next to a table. On the table were items that the students were going to find familiar.

"Everyone, pick up the weapons from our first class together," Isabelle said, gesturing at the weapons in question. "Today, we're going shopping."

Spoken like someone who loved shopping, and expected them to feel the same.

"Specifically, you're all going go around the mall and assemble outfits that are both stylis and also convenient for concealing whatever weapon you picked. And ––" She held up a finger. "–– before anyone complains about this putting some of you at a disadvantage because your weapons may be harder to conceal... Tough. That's part of the lesson." And she wasn't saying that unkindly. It genuinely was part of the lesson. "Sometimes you have to work around disadvantages, because life is not fair, and it's even less so when it comes to any meaningful form of fighting. So, best learn to live with it."

She'd been serious for a second there.

So, time for a smirk: "Now, off you go. Shop!"

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Fighting and Fabulousity, Wednesday, 1st Period

Wed, 12 Jul 2017 12:53:08 GMT

Posted by: seveninchmotto

This week, they were meeting in a regular class room, where Isabelle was perched on the edge of the teacher's desk. She would've felt weird behind it, like she was the Consul or he Inquisitor or something.

She gave them a little wave. "Hi, and welcome back. Next week, we'll be getting to some of the meatier parts of this workshop, but today, I want to continue on from last week. Last week, you picked some weapons. This week, we'll talk about what it means to be fabulous."

Which was a philosophical conversation Isabelle had been born to have.

"I have my own view on that, but I want to hear what you think," she continued. "Also, if you came to this class for the 'fighting' part in the name and don't actually know what fabulous means, this is a great time to find out. Don't hesitate to comment on each other, too. If this goes in too orderly a fashion, I'll feel like I failed something."

She was probably joking about that. She gave them a smile, then pointed to a student at random.

"You go first. What does 'fabulous' mean to you?"

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