Fandom High School

Great British Bakeoff! But American! Thursday, December 11

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 17:33:59 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Steve came into the class with a cat-shaped Tony on his shoulder. "So, leaving Tony alone during last week's class was a terrible idea," he said. "Fortunately, everything is almost dried out at home...but we're going to just sit and watch an episode of British people making food instead of setting anything onto the stove for Tony to knock over."

Tony looked unmoved. "It will be relaxing," Steve concluded.

Until the technical challenge was making s'mores, then Steve would be indignant.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Thursday, December 4

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 17:39:09 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Steve arrived in front of the baking students looking a little frazzled and alone. "Right, so Tony turned into a cat today and he'd make an absolutely terrible judge, so I'm calling an audible and changing the plan. We're going to work together and make a gingerbread house!"

This could only go badly.

"I bought a pre-baked one from the store."

At least he knew himself?

"Come on up to this table and we'll get started."

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 00:47:06 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The students who used email would've received an email, the others would have received a letter, but they all read:

Our apologies, but there was an Avengers-related emergency that couldn't wait! We'll see you next week.

Very sincerely yours,

Steve Rogers & Tony Stark

No points in guessing who wrote it.

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday, October 30 [2nd period]

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 15:11:51 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Your teachers were much tanner than they'd been two weeks ago. And hopefully so were many of the students. "Hi, and welcome back!" Steve said enthusiastically.
"Made it through fall break," Tony added. "And back to the colder weather. So we were thinking of soothing that with some tropical desserts this week. Starting off with a pavlova of your choice."

"I love pavlovas!" Steve said. Steve, let's be honest, hadn't met a lot of food he wouldn't eat. Supersoldier physiology plus a Great Depression scarcity mentality meant not a lot of food went to waste around him.

"Love pavlovas," Tony agreed with a grin and a sideways glance at his co-teacher. "And then we're going to ask you to make us a passion fruit posset."

Steve loved those too! "But first, let's see--" he frowned. "What did we assign again?"

Tony stared blankly as he tried to remember. "Chocolate! It was chocolate work!"

"Right!" Steve said. "So you need to show us your boxes made of chocolate, with chocolates inside it."

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday, September October 16 [2nd period]

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 14:16:03 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

There was a chocolate fountain waiting for the class when they arrived. Because nothing said chocolate week quite like something you used to look cool at parties. Right?

"Welcome back," Tony said. "We've brought treats in case you won't get enough chocolate from today."

Steve definitely didn't startle and jump from the fountain with a strawberry on a skewer. Really. "Hi!" he said oh-so-smoothly. Killing it.

"First off, we'll be looking at your best take on brownies," Tony said smoothly. "And I don't know about other people, but I think the corner pieces are the best parts."

"They are, but that doesn't mean you should overcook the middle," Steve said. "That just makes sad, dry brownies. And please, please don't do weird things to your brownies. We watched the British show and they put in figs and it made me sad."

Tony nodded in agreement with that. Because disappointing Steve was just a crime. "And then, for your technical, we'll have you make us pots de creme."

"And we're on vacation next week, so use that time to get inspired for a chocolate box--made of chocolate and filled with three different flavors of chocolate--to bring us the week after that," Steve said with a grin.

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday, September October 2 [2nd period]

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 16:53:02 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The 'tent' was once again ready for the bakers to come back around for more ridiculous baking challenges! But the theme this week was honestly perplexing both teachers.

"Welcome back everyone. Today, we're apparently making school treats?" Tony said with a confused little frown. "I'm not sure what that means."

"Didn't you ever eat school lunch?" Steve asked.

"Well, boarding school, but I've been told it's not the same as normal school," Tony replied with a shrug.

"School lunch was sometimes my biggest meal of the day back in the '30s," Steve said. "We ate a lot of peanut butter sandwiches."

"I don't think I've had one of those," Tony admitted. "But instead we have granola bars to start out! Whatever flavor you want to make."

"We don't care if they are crunchy or chewy, but tell us which one they were supposed to be before we chew on it," Steve said. "And first, let's judge your cheesecakes."

Your stacked cheesecakes. Which was a terrible idea.

"And then for your technical... square pizza? Is that a school lunch thing?" Tony was so out if his depth.

"The internet said so," Steve said, nodding. "So helpful."

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday, September 18, 2025 [2nd period]

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 15:02:57 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Steve and Tony had a slightly rickety gingerbread version of the Avengers Tower in front of them that they were clearly horribly proud of. "Welcome back, everyone!" Steve said with a bright smile. "Welcome to Bread Week."

"We hope you all had fun with your cookie buildings." Or broke them immediately. Which was possible. "We'll get to judging those while you all start on your first bread with sweet bread rolls of any type you'd like."

"Just make sure that they have enough filling," Steve added. Steve still had opinions about pains au chocolat without enough chocolate.

Tony nodded along with that. Chocolate was important. "Following that, we want you all to make us pita. And, for an additional challenge, a tzatziki and hummus."

"I love hummus," Steve said, nodding.

"And. For your homework... we want you to make a braided bread. But a lot of braids." Really sounding like an expert there, Tony.

"The most braids wins," Steve said, nodding.

Not normally how baking class went, but sure!

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Great British Bake Off (But American), Thursday, September 4, 2025 [2nd period]

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 13:44:37 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Well. Your teachers were ponies. Maybe some of the class was ponies too! But that sort of put a damper on the whole... baking thing. What with the lack of thumbs and all.

"Okay, so this week is a little crazy for the start of classes," Tony said, tail flicking in annoyance. "Hopefully you all avoided the dinosaurs just fine."

Steve, who couldn't throw a shield like this, was looking decidedly irritated. For a magical pegasus pony thing. "Baking will definitely be a challenge today," he said. "Making cakes is probably a little beyond us."

"So, we thought maybe microwaves?" Tony added. "We'll just go with an A plus grade if you manage something edible here."

"It'll be great!" Steve said with much more optimism that this deserves. "...we might give you homework for when all of our thumbs return."

"Just consider this an easy introduction to the class," Tony said. One where dinosaurs wanted to murder you and people were ponies.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 15:53:07 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Good morning, everyone," Steve said with a bright smile. "I'm looking forward to seeing your final showstoppers."

"And, because this is your final class of the semester, we've decided to let you all try each other's pavlovas as we put on a movie," Tony said. Because that was the sort of thing everyone needed for finals week.

"Maybe our next class can make French dinners..."

Steve, no. But also, Steve, yes!

"Maybe," Tony said, sounding interested in something neither of them could plausibly do without setting something on fire once they were distracted.

Oh God, the flambés.

"We'll think about it," Steve decided.

"So, everyone settle in for a nice, easy day," Tony said.

"We're nice like that," Steve added.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, April 9, 2025

Wed, 09 Apr 2025 16:33:33 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

It was Fussy French Pastry Week because even though both of your teachers spoke French, they weren't going to call the stuff pâtisserie.

"Bonjour," Steve said with a grin. "We're making French stuff today. Well, you are. JARVIS banned us from the kitchen when we tried to make the nuns."

That would make more sense in a minute, kids.

"He's no fun," Tony said with a frown. "After we judge last week's bake, we'll start you out with a classic entremet. Which is like if you made something where the decoration was inside for when you cut them."

"It should be no problem for you now that you've mastered custard," Steve said with more enthusiasm than their custard skills might be earning. "We'd like at least four layers when we cut it open, and also for it to not be a sploogy mess."

'Sploogy' was totally a real word.

"After that, we move onto the nuns," Tony said with a grin. "Or the Religieuse, which are filled choux pastries that are stacked together to sort of look like a nun." Just go with it, folks.

"Ours did not look like nuns," Steve said, "but that's why we're teaching and not taking this class." He smiled. "Before we get started on the entremets, let's see your herbal cakes with sugar flowers!"

Hopefully you learned how to make sugar flowers! Or ordered some from Amazon. It's not like your teachers would be able to tell.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, March 26, 2025

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 15:52:21 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

There weren't any Easy Bake Ovens in the tent today because Steve was a hater of joy and also theirs had caught fire three times this week.

Minor technical difficulties! Nothing at all to worry about, though. This week was different.

"So custards," Tony said. "Something that can taste like sweet screwed eggs if you're not careful."

Had he made any? No. But he'd had it plenty of times at a restaurant.

Steve wrinkled up his nose. "Those are not great, but I'm sure you will all be fine!"

"We'll start off easy with the signature being boxed pudding pies. Whatever you think would be the best flavor combination, let us see it," Tony said.

"And then you'll have to make creme anglaise," Steve said. "And I don't know what that is."

"It's like a custard that you can pour," Tony said oh so helpfully. "Or something."

Well, at least they won't know how to judge it correctly. "And your take home assignment is flan!" Steve said excitedly.

"Three tiers!" Wait, what?

"That'll be amazing!" Steve said, smiling enthusiastically. Or a huge mess. One of those. "But first, let's see how your Easy Bake...bakes...went!"

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, March 12, 2025

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 14:29:45 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Did Steve need to be wearing a bright green sweater today? No, but he was Irish American and getting into the spirit of the upcoming holiday. "Today we're doing Irish baking!"

"After we judge your shave ice, we'll get into the signature challenge of... shortbread. You can flavor it any way you want so long as it's rich and buttery," Tony said as he grinned. "Maybe go with something green to impress Captain Rogers here."

"Please don't use kale," Steve added immediately.

"...I didn't even think that was an option." Tony clearly hadn't gone to enough hipster places. "Either way! After that, we want you to make a... Barmbrack." Because in no way could he pronounce the actual name for it.

"Irish cinnamon raisin bread," Steve said. "To speed the recipe up, we tell you to microwave the raisins with the hot tea instead of having them steep overnight."

"That sounds really good, actually. Even if I'm more of a coffee drinker." Understatement of the year. "But that will be followed up by a very special challenge for you to bring us next week."

"Think...decorative pie," Steve said, nodding.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 14:05:53 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Tony's back," Steve said happily, pointing unnecessarily at his husband, "and so today can be Chocolate Week!"

"Apologies for last week," Tony said. "For... all of those salads?"

They were salads in name only and everyone but Steve knew it.

"Oh, you get to taste the salads," Steve said, "but you missed the Spam Loaf."

No one missed the Spam Loaf, Steve.

Tony looked something close to thrilled, but wasn't at all thrilled. Horrified. It was horrified. "Let's talk chocolate for now," he suggested. "Your signature is going to be a box of tempered chocolates with a filling of your choice. And the box is also made of chocolate."

At least it wasn't hot out for this?

Steve nodded. "I've been looking forward to those! And your technical challenge is chocolate lava cakes, but we'll get to that in a bit."

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The Great British Bakeoff! Only American! Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 14:42:01 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Unfortunately, Tony had a board meeting he couldn't get out of this morning," Steve said, "so you only have me today."

"First I'll judge your marzipan ring...stacks." Thor wasn't here to help with pronunciation today, so Steve decided to just not try. "Then we'll get into some retro bakes."

Because Tony also wasn't there to stop him!

"Our Signature challenge will be a highly decorative Jello mold filled with your choice of sweet or savory items," Steve said, so earnest despite being so diabolical, "and our technical challenge is the Spam and Fruit Cocktail Party Loaf."

Steve, why.

"And your take-home assignment is to come up with your most creative Midwestern dessert salad! It'll be fun."

It'd be something, all right.

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The Great British Bakeoff! Only American! Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 14:36:47 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Today we're making pie!" Steve said happily. "Good pie, without fish in it."

"Or any meat. Or meat jelly," Tony added. Because fancy dinner parties still had those on occasion. "Today, your signature bake should be your best, most decorative fruit pie. You can pick any fruit you like best. We're just excited to get pie for breakfast here."

"Breakfast pie!" Steve echoed. He was a man who enjoyed the simple pleasures. "But first, let's judge those gingerbread castles, okay?"

"Oh right!" How could he have forgotten about the gingerbread castles? "We'll do that while you make fruit pies. And then after the fruit pies, you'll do your technical challenge of making us a pumpkin pie."

"With nuts on top," Steve added, nodding.

"This is going to be a great tasting day," Tony sighed.

"We have faith," Steve said, smiling at Yelena.

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Great British Bakeoff! But American! Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 18:37:44 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The tent was back up for class! And it was still winter. Because sometimes the aesthetic seemed to supersede the whole comfort thing. But, hey, at least the little, flimsy ovens would be on to keep people sort of warm for this next week.

"It's bread week! But don't worry, we haven't forgotten about the showstopper cakes from last week that you all were supposed to bring in," Tony said. "But that will be judged as you settle in to show us what you think your signature focaccia is."

"Mm, more cake," Steve said, grinning. "And bread!" A combination only a super-powered metabolism could love.

"And, once we judge that focaccia, your technical challenge will be to make a traditional French baguette." It wouldn't end in tears at all. Tony was just so irrationally hopeful. And the level of time travel necessary for all this baking...

"Plus your own butter," Steve added helpfully.

"Yes, a flavored butter," Tony agreed. "But we'll be nice and let you do that one however you want."

"As long as that way isn't taking butter that's already made out of the fridge," Steve cautioned.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 15:19:33 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Well, we've gotten to the final class without permanent injuries," Steve said, clapping his hands together, "just like we always knew we could."

"Congratulations!" Tony said as a few of the roombas zoomed around him with party hats affixed to them. "But, unfortunately, most of the ingredients we had planned for today have been replaced with some more, ah, munchies related ones."

"Munchies?" Steve repeated, politely confused. His anti-drug PSAs had been very clinical, Tony.

Tony just nodded like it was perfectly reasonable. "I'll tell you later," he promised. "But for now... work with what we have and see what you can make!"

"But maybe some of the students are also confused," Steve said."

Steve.

"Steve, no." Steve, yessss.

"Why not?" Steve demanded.

"Because it's weed. It's a weed joke," Tony blurted out, spooking one of the roombas.

Steve looked momentarily mystified still before he finally got it. "Oh. Okay. So make a delicious...something and then...impress us with your engineering skills somehow too?"

"Sounds like college," Tony muttered quietly.

Steve snorted and poked him in the shoulder. "And thank you again for your time and attention this semester."

"We hope to see you again this summer," Tony added, shamelessly grabbing a bag of Doritos.

"Especially if you like paintball," Steve said with a grin.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 15:46:11 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The teachers looked much more focused this week, so that could only be a good thing, right? "Today we're going to make edible rockets!" Steve said enthusiastically.

"No, they don't have to break the atmosphere," Tony said with a grin. "Your goal is to get it in the air successfully. After that..."

Cookie crash time!

"They should hit the ceiling," Steve said with an equally eager grin. "Tony's going to explain about the physics of propulsion and gravity and then you can get started."

And it was probably more than a high school class needed to be told, but sometimes Tony just got enthusiastic about a subject. Sorry, kids.

"Now, remember you can team up if you'd like," Tony added.

"Please don't launch your bots into space," Steve cautioned as well.

One of the little roombas made a distressed noise and tried to hide behind the teachers.

"They get anxious," Tony said in a bit of a stage whisper.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 15:36:35 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The classroom today didn't have its normal attention to detail, and the Roombas were happily zooming all over the floors as everyone arrived. "Today we're making really elaborate, um, fruit baskets," Steve said as the teachers came in two minutes late to class.

"Or we would be, but the delivery service only brought bananas," Tony said, frowning at the supplies they had in the center of the room.

Just so many kinds of bananas.

"So let's regroup," Steve said, making a face at the bananas as well. The phallic, phallic bananas.

"Just...let your mind wander and make something with bananas."

Steven. Why would you encourage teenagers to let their minds wander this week?

"And chocolate!" Tony added. "We also have chocolate."

Which would help, right?

In no way would this help. "So, um, get started," Steve said, wandering over and grabbing a banana. He was hungry!

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Bakineering, Wednesday, March 16, 2022

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 15:32:19 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

"Today we're making leprechaun traps," Steve said. "Edible ones that will hopefully not annoy an actual leprechaun."

Because Steve was Irish and he'd been taught very early not to piss off the wee folk.

Tony just side eyed him for a moment at that. "Which apparently involves a lot of cream being left out?"

Look, he wasn't up to date on Irish folklore.

"Milk," Steve said. "They like milk. And whiskey." He shrugged. "That's what my mother told me."

"Shortbread might be good to try for the traps," Tony added. As that was definitely Irish to fit the theme. "If your trap works... please be careful in case it's a squirrel or a gremlin."

"Maybe with a sign that says you don't really intend to trap them?" Steve added. "Leprechauns are pretty spiteful."

He'd heard.

"Make your box at least three apples tall," he added, "or the leprechauns won't fit inside."

Were they real? Steve had no idea, but he wasn't taking chances.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 16:01:18 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Steve was bright-eyed and smiling because Steve was always bright-eyed and smiling. Tony...Tony was a different story.

Tony was clutching his oversized travel mug of coffee and looking like death warmed over. Maybe he was getting sick or something, right?

"Burning stuff. Flambé. That thing," he managed. But that was the most intelligent thing you were getting out of him here.

Fortunately, Steve was fluent in Tony. "Since you did so well with your volcanoes--" sure, we'll go with that, "--we decided to up the difficulty with fire!"

Dum-E in the corner was rocking excitedly, holding a fire extinguisher in his claw.

"Since you've mastered the idea behind Baked Alaskas with the volcanoes, let's make them more elaborate! Today you'll make comets that you'll set on fire and then they'll crash into a landscape of your choice."

Oh no.

Oh yes. This had been a caffeinated Tony plan.

"Good luck," Tony managed before getting dosed in flame retardant foam by a very trigger happy Dum-E.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 15:37:20 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Today, the Danger Shop was set up for cookie baking! And also a little structural integrity challenge. But mostly cookies!

"Welcome back!" Tony said, very excited to see how the new challenge they had for their class would go. "Today is going to be about earthquakes."

"And gingerbread houses!" Steve added. "But mostly the earthquakes."

They had put so many things on the earthquake platform to make them fall over, you guys. Just. So many things.

"So, your goal today is to build a house of edible materials that will withstand the earthquake simulator," Tony said. "Which is a lot harder than it sounds. Captain Rogers and I tried."

There had been Jello involved. It had been so great. And messy.

"Tony's going to do a quick lecture about gravity and stability and physics of structures," Steve said, "and then you need--with your bots--to build a structure at least three feet tall that doesn't fall over when we rattle it around for a solid minute."

This was going to be a disaster.

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Bakineering, Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 15:44:13 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

The classroom, in addition to the usual baking and engineering equipment, was now rigged with a giant, fifteen foot tower in the center of the space.

So that was probably fine. Dum-E was hanging out in front of it just in case it caught fire. "Today you get to work with gravity!" Steve said excitedly.

"More specifically, negating the effects of gravity," Tony said. "You will need to build something that will protect your dessert. Be that something that flies or a parachute. Or maybe even just extra padding. It's up to you."

"A hovercraft would be swell," Steve said enthusiastically. Steve had a warped idea of what was possible in high school students because he was married to Tony Stark.

Tiny, tiny bit, yes.

"Remember to utilize your robot assistants here!" Tony added.

"And your desserts need to be light, too," Steve said. "Like a mousse or a meringue. We've left out recipes and equipment to make parachutes, but don't feel limited by what we've provided."

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Bakineering, Wednesday, January 26, 2022

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 15:11:15 GMT

Posted by: heroic_jawline

Well, kids, today you had blow torches, so that could only end in awesome. Or someone on fire. Which would still be awesome, albeit in a traumatizing way.

"Today we're going to make edible volcanoes!" Steve said excitedly. "Tony will explain the science part."

"Baking soda and vinegar is the classic way to make a volcano that won't actually burn anything," Tony said. "And since we already have the blow torches out, we thought it might be safer to stick with that one."

Also, the school got weird about making real volcanoes.

You graduate more than one supervillain and the school board gets a little squeamish. Go figure.

"Your volcano has to be at least three feet tall and made out of cake, meringue, and ice cream," Steve said. "Plus have a hole for the baking soda and vinegar stuff."

"We suggest a thick layer of meringue," Tony said helpfully. "The main stipulation is that the eruption must work, okay?"

"And that the ice cream doesn't melt," Steve added. "We've left out a couple of recipes for cake, ice cream and meringues--" but tried none of them because your teachers were terrible cooks, "--and your bots will be out in a second to assist you!"

Several of them had a little chef hats on. It was adorable.

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The Great Witcher Bake Off, Tuesday

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 13:03:17 GMT

Posted by: ohvalleyofpenis

It was the final week of watching your instructors set things on fire by accident. So, of course things had to end with setting things on fire on purpose, right? Right.

"What is an Alaska and why are we baking it?" Why was Jaskier asking Yennefer this?

"Well, obviously it's a type of tart," Yennefer said with all the confidence of someone who had no idea what she was talking about, but did have a brand new insulated travel cup full of ~~wine~~ ~~coffee~~ okay it's wine. Then she actually looked at the recipe and said, "All right, so it's not a tart."

Jaskier frowned at the travel mug, but mostly because he hadn't thought of that first. "What is it then?"

This just went to show that Yennefer was the smart one and the pretty one. "It's a--well, it's a--frozen. thing?

"You heard it here, kids. A frozen thing," he said with all the confidence of a man who made lies sound pretty for a living. "This is our final class with you for the season, so give it all you have and I'm sure--is the recipe on fire?!"

You'll will miss this class, don't lie.

"We have other copies, don't we?" Apparently they did not. "Right, well. Make your best guess at what a Baked Alaska is," Yennefer said.

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