Fandom High School

Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-12-16T12:45:02Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

"Hi, kids," Aphra greeted the class cheerfully. "And welcome to you final!"

Was it? Both your teachers had kind of stopped keeping track of the weeks. Oh, well.

"Now, we came up with the most amazing test to truly examine what you've learned in this class." Had they actually learned anything, Isabela? "But then a teal deer ate the it so instead we're watching a classic."

Oh, like any of you were surprised by this.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-12-09T12:38:02Z

Posted by: good_for_six

"Disguises," Isabela cheerfully greeted the class with. "They're an incredibly useful addition when trying to pull a fast one on someone."

Aphra nodded. "Especially when you're deal with people who have a strong cultural norm of particular kinds and styles of clothing being only for certain segments of the population," she said. "If you're in that situation and you're dealing with particularly unimaginative people, you get today's film"

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-12-02T11:10:09Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

"Hey, everyone we're coming up on Not Life Day, the holiday that takes over the entire month," Aphra said by way of greeting. "It's actually fascinating from a xenoanthropological perspective, but you're not here for that."

Many of the class might wonder what they were here for at all. "Instead this holiday is all about being forced to spend time with your families, who you might be avoiding for very good reason." Isabela wasn't judging as she too was avoiding her family for very good reason.

"Because families can be extremely judgemental about all your life choices," Aphra added. "Which in turn can lead to all kinds of wacky hijinks as you try to avoid actually telling them to stay out of your business."

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-11-25T13:18:49Z

Posted by: good_for_six

Your teachers were completely missing in action today, and a note was on the door.

Class cancelled.

Because Reasons.

And if anyone suspected reasons was code for 'concern that this time would be the time the children didn't turn back', you'd be both oddly specific and right.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-11-18T13:24:01Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

Class was in the Danger Shop today. Which was nice and non-ominous.

Just as non-ominous as the fact the simulation seemed to be some sort of fighting arena with a bottomless pit in the middle and some very unsavoury looking characters with nasty, sharp, pointy weapons and nastier, sharper, pointer teeth.

"Sometimes fast talking isn't enough," Aphra called out from her and Isabela's position on the sidelines, safely outside the area. "And you'll have to resort to fast fists."

"Or daggers."

"Or blasters."

"You'll be fine," Isabela called out. "Just remember what we've taught you about teamwork this semester!"

But you hadn't taught them anything about teamwork.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-11-11T13:10:53Z

Posted by: good_for_six

There were still a large and lingering number of pillows scattered about the classroom, which Isabela was taking full advantage of to lounge upon as she addressed the class. "Apparently 'turnabout is fair play' so my college will not be joining us today," she said complete with finger quotes. "So we'll be watching a movie about pirates."

If only Isabela had actually watched the film before this instead of spending her entire weekend wondering what she'd look like in a dashing hat. If only.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-11-04T13:16:02Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

There was a marked lack of Isabela in class today.

"So Isabela is indisposed today, something about figuring out which blorbos need to kiss, which is apparently vitally important," Aphra said with a vague air of someone who wished they'd come up with that excuse first. "So let's examine how fast talking can get you into deeper problems, though the medium of film."

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-10-28T12:57:38Z

Posted by: good_for_six

This morning your teachers were fashionably late. And wheeling in a projector.

Look, these two were big believers in 'show, don't tell'. It had nothing to do with laziness.

"So, when we talk about fast talking, it encompasses more than just talking," Aphra said, after making an appearance right about the time most of the class was probably considering leaving. "It involves all kinds of thinking on your feet."

"For example, maybe your husband has just bought a boat, and then your assassin lover shows up to let you know someone's taken out a contact on him. Your husband that is." That was an extremely specific scenario, Isabela. "Most people wouldn't know what to do, but a girl who can improvise can seize the chance to become an amazing pirate captain."

After a few moments, Aphra broke in with a bright and cheerful. "Anyway, let's watch the movie."

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-10-14T11:41:02Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

"Attitude," Aphra stated as she came into the classroom that had the projector set up in it. "Attitude will get you further than just about anything."

"Even if it's just because they're too baffled to stop you," Isabela added. "As you'll see from our informational video."

Yes. Informational video and not movie they justified at at the last minute.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-10-07T12:59:54Z

Posted by: good_for_six

When any students arrived at the classroom, there was a note on the door.

Class cancelled.

Like any of you were going to focus after Parent's Weekend, anyway.

[Yuuuuup.]

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-09-30T13:17:09Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

"So, as you may have noticed by now, fast talking isn't exactly the same thing as honest talking," Aphra said, in a massive understatement. "In fact, it often involves quite a lot of lying."

"But you can trust us to be honest with you," Isabela assured them, like they hadn't started the semester pretending to be each other. "If only because it's less effort than keeping the lies straight."

"Which brings us to today's lesson, keeping your lies straight. Or more likely seeing how many tookas you can juggle while everything's on fire." That was a very...colourful metaphor, Aphra.

"You all need to come up with a lie, your classmates will attempt to poke holes in that lies and you need to fill those holes without contradicting yourself," Isabela explained. "Because sometimes it doesn't matter if someone knows you're lying, it only matters if they can catch you out."

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-09-23T12:28:04Z

Posted by: good_for_six

The projector was up at the front of class again.

"A very important part of fast talking is that often it involves talking very fast," Isabela said, as if this was one of the great profundities of the universe. "Which can often get very confusing."

"Which is all well and good if you're the one who's trying to baffle people," Aphra added. "Not so much if you're trying to deal with someone else's bantha poodoo."

The narrative was not going to comment on that, tempting as it was.

"So today we'll be watching a film about two people who are very good at fast talking trying to get one over on each other."

"They're exes." Which as far as Aphra was concerned, explained everything.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-09-16T14:07:15Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

Isabela was alone at the front of class this morning, not looking particularly concerned about her co-teacher's absence. "Now, one of the first obstacles that people come across when attempting to fast talk people is the issue of trust. Some people are terrible liars, others are naturally suspicious and treat everyone like they're untrustworthy. Sure some of those people are, but is that really any way to live?"

The point, Isabela. "Anyway, while you can work on improving your fake sincerity, sometimes you just need to lean into things."

"Love the hair," Aphra announced as she entered the room, pointing at a random student. "It's so daring. I could never do that. Now, I'm either obviously lying and you're getting paranoid about your style choices, or maybe I'm being sincere and you're second guessing your snap judgement. In any case, you're completely distracted from my fashionably late entrance."

Or they just had extremely low expectations.

"So today we're going to work on lying to each other," Isabela said. "You can either try to convince each other of things that aren't true, or convince them you're lying about something that is. Can you catch each other out?"

Or just go down a path of increasing paranoia.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-09-09T13:22:11Z

Posted by: good_for_six

There was a projector set up at the front of class, so it didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening in today's class.

It was a tradition!

"Now that we're all introduced, it's time to start the class properly." With a movie. Tradition!

"We could get into some deeply boring philosophical discussion about lies and persuasion and bending the truth," Isabela said. "Or we could watch sexy criminals using their wits and silver tongues to commit crime."

It was obvious which side of that debate your teachers fell on.

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Fast Talking, Monday, Period 2

2024-09-02T12:52:38Z

Posted by: jedigrammarians

The classroom looked relatively normal for one of Aphra and Isabela's classes. However, for anyone who'd been in one of their classes before (and was apparently a glutton for punishment) it looked an awful lot like they'd tried swapping clothes only to come undone at shirt sizing.

"Welcome kids to Fast Talking," Aphra, who was now wearing a bandanna, a gold coin necklace, thigh high boots, and was subtly trying to tug her tshirt hem down to cover more of her boxer-briefs, declared. "I am Captain Isabela the sexiest pirate to ever sail Fandom's waters."

"Not that that's hard," Isabela, who in addition to the shocking addition of trousers, had Aphra's helmet and goggles perched on top her her head and a vest that was never going to be able to be closed tossed over her usual shift and corset, said, not nearly quietly enough. "That Barbossa for one. I mean, I am Doctor Chelli Aphra, a dashing space archaeologist, stealing only from the most interesting tombs. Together we are going to teach you all about lying."

Aphra nodded. "When we're through, you'll be a master at recognising untruths." Something that may have been easier in some cases than others. "And telling them."

"Let's get started with introductions," Isabela added. "But you have to introduce yourself with a lie, and then your classmates will try and pick that lie apart."

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Lying 101

2016-04-18T13:32:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"Welcome to Lying 101, the class where we talk about how lying is wrong and something you should never do," Lito said, casting a glance at the six-year-old currently seated behind his desk.

The six-year-old didn't look up from whatever he was drawing on a piece of paper, possibly because his English wasn't that good yet, but Capheus, watching over his shoulder and visible only to Lito, looked up to give Lito a 'laying it on a bit thick' look. Lito constantly thanked God for Capheus. Diego's sudden appearance at his door had freaked both him and Riley out, and emotional transference had resulted in them both being even more freaked out. Capheus had been a rock.

"That's right," Lito said firmly to any kids any of his students had brought along with them. "Lying is very bad and can even have legal consequences! So don't do it. Especially to your parents. Any questions? Also I have arts and crafts supplies, you can draw for the rest of class."

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-04-11T06:41:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"I thought we could talk about a specific type of lying today," Lito said, "which I am not so experienced with myself, which is lying using statistics. Your American author Mark Twain, I believe it was, said, 'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.' But how is this? Statistics are just numbers, if they say there are 30,000 people in a town then that's just a fact, no? But it depends on how you ask the question, and how you frame the answers. A politician may say, 'The majority of people support my plan,' and then you look at the actual numbers and find out that 'the majority' is fifty-one percent, but only if you include the ten percent who had no opinion, because hey, they didn't oppose his plan, no? Or a person might ask ten people, 'Do you support stealing from honest, hard-working citizens?' and then publish their results as 'One hundred percent of those surveyed are against raising taxes.' So you have to be careful to know what the numbers actually say, and how those numbers were arrived at. Now, how else might one lie using statistics?"

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-04-04T05:40:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

Lito began today's class by saying, "One thing we have not talked about yet in this class is the ethics of lying. It's a terrible thing, yes? To look someone in the face and lie to them. It is a violation of their trust. Someone is trusting you to tell them the truth, and you do not do it. You're breaking faith with them. And yet sometimes, it's...is it necessary? No, it's never necessary, but maybe you feel the consequences of lying are less than the consequences of telling the truth. Not morally, maybe, but for other reasons. Your safety, the safety of those you care about. To save your career or your social life, or to keep someone from being hurt, whether that is physically or emotionally, you make that decision to not tell the truth, because by lying, you are the only one who is hurt. So how do you decide when it is worth it?

"I cannot tell you what is the right answer here. I've said before, I am very good at lying, and that is because I have done a lot of it. Professionally, but," he shrugged, "also in my personal life. I felt like I had to. Maybe it was, or maybe I was lying to myself as well. That's the thing, sometimes you lie so much you forget how to tell the truth. You have to watch out for that, no?" He clapped his hands together and rubbed them briskly. "So. Let's talk about this. When is it worth it, to you, to lie to someone?"

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-03-21T13:53:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"Today, I thought we could workshop," Lito told his students. "I want you to think about a lie you told that didn't work. Why didn't it work? What could you have changed to avoid being caught? That sort of thing. You don't have to share with the class if you don't want to, but it could be useful."

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Lying 101

2016-03-14T13:07:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"Today we will be watching ~~meta for~~ Liar Liar, a movie about...well, a liar," Lito announced. "Enjoy."

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-03-07T11:47:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

Today, Lito had written one word on the blackboard: Accomplices.

"Nothing happens in a vacuum, no?" (Nomi pointed out, "Except a space walk," but he ignored her.) "When you lie, you have your audience, but you also have any people you have involved in your lie. If you tell your mother you went to the bookstore, because your roommate wanted a book of bird calls, but your roommate in reality has no interest in the subject, imagine their confusion when on Parents' Weekend your father, who has actually taken up birding, attempts to discuss different types of orioles with them. This is a disaster. You want to avoid it. And it's not always going to be possible to avoid involving others entirely. So, before you involve other people, consider how you are going to deal with that. Maybe the other person is in a coma, so you don't have to worry about them blowing your cover--" Wolfgang paused in the middle of what he was doing to toss one of his lock picks at Lito's head; while to the students' eyes nothing happened, Lito flinched and protested, "Ow!" covering his temple with his hand. After a moment he recovered and, after glaring at a particular patch of empty air for a moment, continued, "That's not usually going to be the case, though, so how do you account for it? One option is to bring this person in on your story, but they may not wish to be untruthful to help you out, so you need to consider that possibility before involving them. Or if you stick closer to the truth--maybe your roommate who doesn't like birds likes cats, so the fictional book was about cats--you're less likely to cause confusion and be found out as a result.

"So. I want you to consider someone in your life, and tell me a convincing lie about what you did over the weekend involving that person."

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-02-15T13:09:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

When the students arrived, Lito was writing, 'TMI' on the blackboard. However, Nomi, who from Lito's perspective was sitting perched on the edge of his desk (and from the students' perspective was nowhere to be found, unless they were maybe particularly psychic) told him, "Mm, no, wrong connotation," between spoonfuls of cereal. "Especially in front of teenagers."

"Really?" Lito asked her over his shoulder, neither of them noticing his first big public slip-up in months as he erased it and at Nomi's suggestion rewrote 'KISS.'

"Keep It Simple, Stupid," Lito said as he turned to face the class. "This means, never give out too much information at first. To go back to our usual example, when your mother asks you where you were last night, 'the coffee shop,' is a solid story. But you may feel the need to embroider upon it, perhaps even practice ahead of time to make sure you know all the details of your story...and then to share them. "My roommate and I went to the bookstore because he wanted a book of bird calls, and then we went to the coffee shop. I had a mocha latte. I liked it." This is too much, why are you telling me all of this? It immediately raises suspicion, and makes it easier for you to be caught out later. And it makes you tell more lies to defend the first lie. You order a cappuccino, and your mother is confused, "I thought you liked mocha lattes now." And now you have to tell more lies about something as simple as why you want a cappuccino instead of a mocha latte. Now, pair up, and one of you is going to lie about what you did last night. The other will critique their story, and then you will swap."

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-02-08T13:30:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"Today, we're going to continue working more on the fine art of body language," Lito declared at the beginning of today's class. "There are several 'tells' that may give away a liar, but one you may not have considered is being too still in an effort to control those tells. You may, for instance, have noticed that when you lie you shuffle your feet, or fidget with your hands, so you stand with your feet firmly planted and your hands clasped." Lito demonstrated, and said, "Well, now you look like you are at attention. Not exactly less suspicious, no? So let's practice standing naturally while telling enormous fibs. Pair up, and I'm not going to assign you a subject because I find it's easier to lie convincingly when it feels a bit silly, or like acting. I'm going to let you decide what you should lie to your partner about."

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-01-25T13:07:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"Eye contact," Lito said at the beginning of today's class. "It is very important, but also a little bit tricky. Too much, and you unnerve people. Too little, and you seem automatically dishonest, although some people with conditions such as autism automatically avoid eye contact even when they are being perfectly truthful. And then, when you are lying to a large audience--that is to say, acting--there are tricks to making everyone feel like you are making eye contact with them, personally, even though obviously this is impossible--and remember, when acting to a camera, look at the lens, not the blinking light, though your eyes are automatically drawn to it. There are other key body language components to seeming honest, but we'll get to those another week. This week we focus on eye contact. So, pair up, and practice lying to your partner while looking them square in the eye. It may be more difficult than you think." He expected at least one person to get the giggles.

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Lying 101, Monday Second Period

2016-01-18T05:26:00Z

Posted by: tequila_squared

"To construct a successful falsehood," Lito began this week's class, "you must know your audience. You must know what they want to hear, and what they will believe. These are two different things. Take our hypothetical from last week, your parents asking you where you were last night, when you were at a bar being illegally served alcohol. Now, of course, you could tell your parents, 'I was at the library all night,' and they might even believe that, if they have no inkling whatsoever that you are the kind of person who might instead have spent the night at the bar. Certainly they probably want to believe that. But if they do know you well enough to suspect that might not be true, then your goose is cooked. Maybe you can brazen your way out of it on elaboration: 'I had a project I left until the last minute, it was a real scramble, be lucky if I get a C,' and then they think, 'Oh, that sounds more like him.' But then you risk tripping yourself up. So it's better to come up with something they'll believe on the first go: 'Oh, I was at the coffee shop,' or something like that. Maybe you even admit to a lesser sin to avoid admitting to the major one, maybe you were loitering and being a teenage nuisance in the park. It all depends on your audience."

Lito clapped his hands together and said, "Now. Let's say you have something very expensive. Let's say...some new shoes. And I am...not me, because I don't know you that well, but perhaps I am your roommate, yes, and I am suspicious. Where did you get those shoes, or the money for those shoes? You're on the spot. What am I going to believe? Lie to me."

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