Adventures Through History, Thursday, period 2

[locointhecoco]

Students entering class today would find the Danger Shop set up as a giant, prehistoric marshland, filled with towering trees, primordial fog, and dragonflies the size of predatory birds. Pinkie stood proudly on a small, lumpy island in the midst of it all, looking pleased as punch.

"Welcome back, everypony! To the Stone Age!"

Look, just humor her, okay?

"The Stone Age is the really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really --" *GASP!* "-- really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really early age of history for humans, back when they all rode around on giant dragon-y things named dinosaurs and made garbage disposals out of pigmy elephants! But riding around on dinosaurs is way more fun than cleaning kitchens, so that's what we're going to do, today! Come on out, Patty!"

The island Pinkie was standing on suddenly started shaking, and then grew -- and grew and grew and grew and grew, then seemed to sprout eyes and a nose and a really, really, really long neck, with Pinkie still on top.

"THIS IS PATTY!" she shouted down at the class. "SHE'S A BRONTOSAURUS, WHICH ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET IS THE VERY BEST DINOSAUR TO HAVE! I THINK 'CAUSE SHE'S SO BIG AND SHE SELLS GASOLINE!" She jumped back and slid down Patty's neck not unlike she was surfing down a giant wave, landing on Patty's damp back, where a saddle could be seen. "We have all sorts of dinosaurs in here," she said, "all set for you to ride on! See what kind you can find, and then take a trip around the Stone Age! Last one to the mountain's a rotten dimetrodon egg!" And Patty started lumbering off, her tail dragging on the ground behind her, pushing trees aside with her massive feet to reveal the shape of a craggy mountain in the distance.

Better get dinosaur hunting.

[ooc: OCD is coming DINOSAURS]

Cryptozoology 101, Thursday, Period One

[nohattrick.livejournal.com]

Class was once again meeting in the Danger Shop today, but there were no fields of flesh-eating horses waiting to devour the students when they walked in. Instead, they'd walk into an old-fashioned Irish-themed pub. There were hardwood counters and metal chandeliers, a giant fireplace and even a marble fresco on one wall, filled with heraldric devices.

"Welcome to The Dal Riata!" Trick greeted them with a brilliant smile, his hand resting possessively on the bar. "The Dal is an old bar, built just a little over a century ago, in my home city, in Canada." He didn't say anything, but his pride and affection for the bar likely made it clear to anyone paying attention that he owned the place. "I was feeling a little homesick and decided it might be nice to have class here today."

He gestured to the stools in front of the bar, wordlessly inviting the students to sit. There were tall mugs in front of each place, filled with a deep amber liquid. Anyone trying their mug would find that they contained ginger beer, not real ale.

Sorry, Kenzi.

"Today, we're going to talk about Redcaps," Trick continued when everyone had settled, ignoring any and all complaints about the non-alcoholic nature of their drinks. "Any Redcap you meet will almost certainly be Dark Fae. There may be Light Fae Redcaps, but I've never met one." Anything was possible? Just...not very likely. "They are an ancient race of Border Goblins, mostly hailing from Northumbria or thereabouts, though they have emigrated and can be found almost anywhere in the world. Centuries ago, they could be found in ruined towers and castles, though now, any place abandoned will do."

"Fortunately for mortals, Redcaps are easy to identify as such. Most of them have glamours to hide their razor-sharp fangs and talons, and the younger ones have even left off the iron-shod boots and pikestaffs of their elders. But the surefire way to tell a Redcap comes from the garment that gave the race their name. All Redcaps cover their head, be it with a bandana, kerchief, sock cap, or anything else. That cap is constantly wet and dripping; they dye it with the blood of their victims. Their preferred victims are trespassers or lonely travelers out late at night, but they can target anyone they choose. Part of the reason for this is because of the way their peculiar magic works. If their caps ever dry out completely, they will die. And so, to protect their own lives, they must murder others."

A charming people, really. Not that Trick judged. Much. "They are excellent predators. In addition to the fangs, claws, and pikes I mentioned earlier, they are also incredibly fast. It is a special and lucky mortal that can outrun a Redcap for very long. Furthermore, their skin is quite tough and resistance to piercing. They are not very bright, but they make up for that with a kind of fiendish, brutal creativity, and these days, most of them live in packs, giving them the benefit of strength and numbers. They don't necessarily fight well together, no real group tactics, but often they don't need to. They are easily outwitted, but difficult to outfight and all but impossible to outrun."

You guys knew where this was leading, right?

Childcare for Dummies, Thursday

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

There was a video set up in class today, and no floppy haired Skywalker standing there to glower at the kids. No, instead they had to deal with the epic duo of Cable & Deadpool.

Sorry, class.

"Well, Skywalker is off dealing with the missus popping out a new kid, so what better time than now to learn about the miracle of birth!" Deadpool said cheerfully. "Unless you go the smart route and adopt. Though, it was really more a case of kidnap for their own safety here..."

"Wade," Cable said patiently, "Let's not ruin too much of the mystery." Or spill classified information. To-may-toe, to-mah-to.

Oh, you.

"Right, right. Storks were involved. Storks with AK-47s," he replied dreamily. "You kids get an easy class this week. Next week, prepare for the apocalypse."

"I'm not sure why Wade insisted I be here to watch this film with you," said Cable. Clearly he had no idea what was in store with him.

"Because you're an excellent Skywalker stand in if we got you a wig and Magneto style cape." A best. "No going evil, though. Or issues with lava."

Wasn't this the least confusing conversation ever?

"Thusly noted," Cable said dryly. "Class... please watch your movie. If you have any questions, we'll be at the back of the room."